I think I am having my moment of realization now. I am having a few moments of realizations actually.
First of all I am proud of myself for one month!! I am going to my doctor tomm and am going to be proud to tell her I quit smoking!!
I feel like the same person but also a different person in a way but in a good way.
Like i feel more confident and like more free with my emotions I get over things that make me mad and sad easier now than ever before because I am not wallowing in self pity and hate of myself and smoking.
It just darkens the mood!!!
I just feel a peace in myself one i never had while I was smoking. I have escaped the internal prison in my mind that nicotine had me imprisoned in.
Smoking was sort of an obligation to me, even when I didnt want to smoke I would anyways because I had the little feeling of emptiness in me that would only go away with smoking. It was this horrible nagging feeling ugh!! Like my mom nagging me to clean up my room and feeling like sort of irritated but knew Id have to do it in the long run sort of thing I dont know if that makes ANY sense at all actually!! lol, maybe only in my own mind!!!
When I smoked I always, everyday thought I was a bad person and hated myself for smoking. I didnt always feel this way of course when I was deluded to believe smoking was cool and okay.
This past year has woken me up and I have matured and am more rational now.
This tug of war in my head to smoke or not to smoke is gone. I felt sort of skitzophrenic. (p.s: I cant spell lol!!)
Im glad to be away from it all!!!!!
Good Night!!!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/1/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 145
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $224
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
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Quit Meter
$26,649.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 503
Hours: 18
Minutes: 23
Seconds: 57
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
3807
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
133,245
Cigarettes Not Smoked
