Christine, my depression doesnt involve death like you say is always on your mind, but, I have similiar thoughts about the same thing and I am very scared of dying and that I often think about a disease thats going to kill me too.I try to not to think that way but its very hard. I know i might not have answered your question or concerns, but i hope you know that I am with you and that your not alone. Take care and god bless.