Going off the Mitazipine, not doing well and going back on has been the factor over the past couple weeks that has created a change in the way I have been.
I was feeling pretty good, doing a LOT, being positive and optomistic. Now Im sad, down, feeling hopeless again. I tend to think about whats wrong in this state as opposed to whats right. Although its very little their was a little right. I dont know, I just am plain down, sleeping too much. I hope it gets better soon.
What can I say, I have a son 19 and a daughter 17. Through all my issues with depression, being bipolar, panic attacks and alcohol use, I ruined our relationship. They want nothing to do with me right now. I havnt seen them in almost a year. I miss thim and love them a lot. I used to mean something to them, I used to be there, I used to give them all I could, as they got older I wasnt able to give of myself. I have a relationship issue as well. I was a good dad when they were little and needy, but when they became their own person, I didnt know how to relate. lately im tore up again missing them, when my depression issues are worse, so is everything else.
This episode of trying to go off meds just made everything so bad. I want to sleep period. I was doing pretty good too. Is anything ever going to be better? I have been dealing with all this for 8 years now. I just want to be somewhat normal. To feel right, get up a have energy and be productive.