EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Relationships
My kids

Advanced Search Form

My kids

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

I dont understand the fact that I have made numerous attempts to communicate with my family and they basically have told me they dont want me in their lives right now.

So How am I supposed to be there for my son, if he doesnt want me around. Im being blamed for having he issues I have. I never went out and asked to be bipolar, nor to have panic attacks or to be depressed. I dont like any of it one bit and I am hated because of it. I did so much and support so many for so long and I broke, thrown out like the trash.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Lance,

As others have said, you must take this and be determined to work on yourself to be better and able to show your family how far you've come. As Josie said, it may help to talk to a therapist about the steps you need to take to sort through this situation. Always remember we are here for you and we support you.

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

The letter from my son is sooo, still on my mind. I keep reading it, looking for something in it that might be telling me something positive. Its not looking that way.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

You do go on! You have some important information that your son gave you and he communicated with you, that is a good step. You do love your family and it shows, right now you need to focus on what you can do to make yourself better. The past can't be changed, but the future can.

You will slowly be able to make amends on your own terms. What is happening to you may not be understandable to your family, but you trying to make a difference is commendable and it will help you.

Take it slow. Talk to a therapist to help you sort this all out and take steps to making communication with your children easier.

Josie, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

How does a father go on with their life after reading this over and over. Im crushed, whats left now?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

A couple weeks ago I was doing pretty good. I tried going off meds and crashed. I was struggling when I got this message.

Now I feel like I was months ago, hopeless, depressed. I am stuck in life again. Just got out of bed, after 17 hours. I want to go back to bed and sleep forever. I not happy about myself at all. I have ruined my life and I dont know how to fix it.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Lance,

Keep trying, never give up, you have made alot of progress and if you keep trying, others will notice. Forgive and Forget is not something that happens in real life. Getting past and moving beyond is what happens. We can only hope that we can build a better future and learn from our past.

So good on you, for making the attempt. Keep making the attempt, some times take a step back, lick your wounds, and build up your courage again. Above all, listen with your heart and your mind not just your ears.

I am glad you brought this to us, it shows that you are strong and really trying to work on your issues.

Take care and keep us updated.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1288

Lance, the message from your son can seem quite discouraging, but at least he is communicating his feelings with you, that's a start, it can give you a better idea of where he is standing at this time in his life. Even though it may seem like he is not willing to try to re-build a relationship with you at this time, keep in mind that he is still very young, and he might change his mind as he grows and matures, and realizes the importance of having a relationship with you.

Have you thought about how you are going to reply to him?

As some of the other members have mentioned, continue focusing on yourself, your family will surely notice all the effors you are making. Don't give up!

Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 199

Lance

First off I want to welcome you to the group. I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your kids. I have very little contact with my son also, its seems that the kids grow up and get their own lives and mates and that their mates family becomes their whole life. They work hard to keep it all together in a tough world. My partner and I both have grown kids that are very busy living their lives and seem to have forgotten about us. We both have lost our parents now and the kids & grand kids were all we had left. Familys today do not seem to as close knit as ours were and now all seem to live in different places not just a couple of miles away. I have had problems with my son and his wife saying I do not see my grand children enough but when ever I try to make contact they are to busy and I really do not feel welcome. Kids just do not seems to understand that having a relationship is a 2 way street and it requires some effort on their part as well. Any way to make a long story short it is just easier for them to blame it all on their parents than take some responsibility for how it is. I have grow tired of trying to be perfect in everyone elses eyes I am trying to do the best I can to get along in this world and be happy. I just try to remember what I was like at 38 and try to remind myself that our kids still have a lot of of things to go through in life, as so do we on this journey called life. I have been feeling depressed with the holidays coming thats for sure. My partner and I have each other this year to spend it with and I will be thankful for that. Hang in there Lance and continue to work on getting better because you are worth it. We all are worth it and need to remind our selfs of that every day.

Doing the best I can,

Sid

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

My son sent me this on Facebook

remember when we had that talk on the couch in crofton? about how you always wanted to be in my life and teach me all the things i needed to know about becoming a man, and how you didnt have a fatherly figure when you were my age, and how you didnt wanna end up like him? how he wasnt there for you, you had to teach yourself everything and practically raise yourself. and you told me you wanted to be a good dad and not be anything like your dad because you felt like he wasnt there for you and you didnt want to be anything like him. well you're exactly like your father. you took yourself out of my life at a crucial point and im having to teach myself how to manage my bank account, pay car insurance, find jobs, and save for an apartment all by myself. i know nothing about fixing my car because i didnt have a fatherly figure to teach me so im having to read into it to teach myself to be safe and not drive a car that could break down or cause me to get injured. I'm doing everything myself, and this was your biggest and probably your only promise you've ever made to me, and this is why I hate you. Yes, we all know you've ****ed up by becoming an alcoholic like your father, leaving your family to deal by themselves like your father. honestly since ive never seen my grandpa and only heard stories about him, he sounds like a better dad than i had. mom taught me manners and how to be a gentleman because you were only home for an hour a day before i went to sleep throughout my childhood, then when you finally had time to stay home and spend time with me, you slept on the couch for 72 hours in a row. way to be a good dad. you wanted to know why you lost your "buddy" so im telling you how i feel. its not easy bringing out my feelings and im not sure if you knew that because you dont really know me but this is the best i can do in telling you why I do not want you in my life, because in my eyes you never really were. I am teaching myself how to become a man and soon I'll have my own house and family and I am not putting aside ANY of my time to re-welcome somebody back into my life. So i suggest you find someone else that makes you happy in life, maybe not as happy, but that will let you in their life because you are not welcome in mine. Goodbye.

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

My kids