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I know I'm not alone. Every day I have to go into the world, put on the mask and pretend I'm okay. I parse my worlds carefully, for I know other people prefer the pretense of denial. What we are is unacceptable in any sense. We are unacceptable to ourselves; we are unacceptable to God.
Obviously, I'm here to work through the program. I would really like to feel better. But I won't do it at the cost of believing a lie. That we have worth--is that lie.
As to discussing this with my doctor--that's a foolish suggestion. It would cost me everything: my job, my retirement, my career and possibly what remains of a very bad marriage. If I want my children to eat, I have to keep my problems as invisible as possible.
Hello Bluefor, There is something that I am looking into now which is called NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programming). Basically it is just a way of changing how you look at things. The sessions they have offered here are also a good way of changing your thought patterns. I guess basically it is all up to ourselves as to how we want to feel. I have been reading up on NLP and soon to be taking a course in CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) I am hoping that these help. I'll let you know how it goes. I hope you feel better soon.
Hi bluefor,
Please know that you are not alone in how you are feeling and yes there is hope!
Please take the time to look at the free online program here and see the difference it can make. By using it step by step, you will be able to pinpoint and assess areas you want help in.
Go through this with your doctor and let us know if we can help. It is worth a try and many members have raved of their progress.
Casey
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The Depression Center Support Team
I've been depressed for many decades and counselling has never seemed to help. I don't understand how to change my feelings. I need to destroy the feelings I have and create feelings that are acceptable to myself and others. I can't change what I am and what I am is axiomatically unacceptable. How I feel comes from what I am. Where is there any hope?
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