Hi Lisaloo,
It's hard to say anything, since everything can be so cliché, but I'm sorry for your loss.
I can't explain that agitation you feel. It's 14+ months since mom passed, and I've gone through different emotions. People make the grief journey differently, and over different timelines. I've forced myself to go out, to be around people, because of the solitude, but I always return to a vacuum. There are numerous support groups I try to attend, but I find they're sporadic, although there is a core group who attend. Some books provided consolation, and I'd like to take journaling course, but I couldn't do that a few months ago. I took portrait to be framed today, and the clerk remarked how pretty it was, as I asked for a dust cover. If she only knew how wonderful mom was...most people can tell by the picture. Cherishing memories is one good piece of advice I felt resonated with me. Hope you're seeking what you need...