Hi Leiho,

I don't have direct knowledge/experience of that situation, but I do think you can make a decision based a lot on your progress. If things have been moving forward for you and you are routinely meeting your goals, you are committed  (which you metion your eagerness), then a new job seems like a great opportunity. You will get new experiences, be busier during your days and have new responsibilities. The new challenge (and job offer) will add to your confidence levels and consequently levels of positivity, which will be  helpful as you recover. As for any added stresses, take them in stride. There are techniques to help combat them (breathing techniques, muscle relaxation, exercise), and with a good supervisor, support system and workplan, you will incur the normal amounts of stresses that come with a full time job with no detriment to you.

 

Congratulations on the job offer, and I'm sure you will see some great feedback from members who have more experience in that situation. All the best, and thanks for your question. 

Hi Felesfemina,

Thanks for sharing your story with us and writing on the message boards. Sorry to hear you have been going through some rough times. There is a lot of great stuff in the program that can help you along and in the "more help" sections, there is a lot of information on managing anxiety, relaxation techniques, and resolving techniques. These may be of help to you as you deal with life in a new country.

 

Some of the symptoms you are experiencing (sadness, helplessness) can be signs of depression but they also may not be related. You may have already done it, but on your home page to the Depression center program there is a WB DAT questionnaire that you can fill out as a screener to better understand your situation. Be as honest as you can when filling it out. I'm not quite sure of the Health Care system in Argentina but with the answers to your test, I would recommend taking it to your physician if possible.

 

Keep checking in and letting us know how things and what you've found out from the WBDAT if you feel comfortable sharing. We we will try to help where we can.

Hi Everyone,
Many individuals tend to pay a lot of attention to certain kinds of information and no attention to other kinds of information. Most importantly, when people are feeling down, anxious or stressed, they tend to pay more attention to information that confirms their negative thoughts than to information that challenges their negative thoughts. For example, an individual may pay more attention to the one person who doesn’t have time to talk to them and less attention to the five people who stopped to talk to them.
 
So the challenge is to try and start paying attention to the positives. This is a strategy to help increase positive thinking and is transferable across many life contexts.
How many times have you focused on the negative? Have you caught yourself doing so?
 
Feel free to comment on this and how you have been tracking yourself.
 
Think positive, a lot of good things happen in our day to day life, we should start paying attention to them.

Hi everyone,

We all have good and bad days. On good days it seems that we are motivated to conquer the world but on bad days it’s easy to not even move from bed. Finding motivation to overcome your fears can be hard on good days but even harder on bad days. We all know the benefits of being in control of our fears; self approval, a sense of accomplishment, enjoyment… just to mention a few but it can just be hard to find the enthusiasm to get there some days. 

Take care

Welcome to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Day (CBT) on the forums!
Two days a week will now be known as CBT day.

This month we have discussed anger & communication skills. This week we will explore specific problematic communication patterns...

Blaming
Blaming is what happens when you try hard to convince yourself and the other person that the problem is the other person’s fault. Unless you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, start with the assumption that you’re 50% responsible for the problem and the other person is 50% responsible.

Self-Blame
Sometimes, when people have a problem in a relationship they often believe that the problem is entirely their fault. Instead of trying to solve the problem in the relationship they spend a lot of time thinking about what a terrible, miserable and rotten person they are. As you might guess, instead of getting the problem solved, such thinking can lead to sadness.

Another possibility is to use the Responsibility Pie technique.
The technique is pretty simple. First, write down a list of all the factors that are responsible for creating the situation that makes you feel ashamed or guilty, including you. Next, record how much responsibility you want to give to each factor as a percentage out of the total of 100%. Next, draw a circle on a piece of paper. Finally start assigning each factor that is responsible for the situation a slice of the Responsibility Pie. The best way to do this is to make the size of each slice proportional to the responsibility that you assign to that factor. For example, if you assign yourself 50% responsibility, then give yourself half of the Responsibility Pie.

Denying Your Needs
People who communicate with a very passive style often deny their own feelings and needs. They feel sad, angry, or hurt but they deny their feelings and needs, even when asked directly. As a result, they get frustrated and angry because they feel unheard and disrespected. Other people get frustrated and angry because they have to guess what the passive person is feeling and needing. The answer to this problem is to adopt a more assertive communication style. More about that a little bit later…

Yes Butting
People who communicate in a passive or passive-aggressive way can do a lot of “yes butting.” In response to any suggestion from the other person for how to solve a problem or make a decision they say “yes, but…” Usually people who “yes but” don’t come up with any solutions of their own, they just reject all of the solutions of the other person. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who is a “yes, butter” you know how frustrating it can be. No matter what you try to suggest, it isn’t quite good enough. So, what happens? That’s right, eventually you respond to the constant rejection by giving up and withdrawing. The solution to “yes, butting” is to recognize the symptoms, inhibit the impulse to criticize, assert what you really need and want, and be prepared to compromise.

Timing
Timing IS everything. Sometimes we assert our needs and wants at the wrong time. As a result, we don’t get what we need or want. We get an argument. The secret to timing is to get better at taking the other person’s perspective and understanding what they need and want. More about this a bit later…

This week we challenge you to keep count. How many times have you fallen into these problematic communication patterns? Who was there? What happened? Where did it happen? And why did it happen?

Don’t forget to share your results here and to tune in later.

Welcome to a behavioural cognitive therapy day on the forums.

 

This week’ challenge we will continue talking about stress management…

How much stress do you have on the job site? Take this small quiz to find out.

Enter a number from the sliding scale below that best describes you.

1 Strongly Disagree
2
3
4
5 Agree Somewhat
6
7
8
9
10 Strongly Agree

•    I can't honestly say what I really think or get things off my chest at work.
•    My job has a lot of responsibility, but I don't have very much authority.
•    I could usually do a much better job if I were given more time.
•    I seldom receive adequate acknowledgment or appreciation when my work is really good.
•    In general, I am not particularly proud or satisfied with my job.
•    I have the impression that I am repeatedly picked on or discriminated against at work.
•    My workplace environment is not very pleasant or particularly safe.
•    My job often interferes with my family and social obligations or personal needs.
•    I tend to have frequent arguments with superiors, coworkers or customers.
•    Most of the time I feel that I have very little control over my life at work.

Add up the replies to each question for your TOTAL JOB STRESS SCORE

If you score between 10-30, you handle stress on your job well; between 40-60, moderately well; 70-100, you’re encountering problems that need to be addressed and resolved.

(Source: Quiz Acquired from the American Institute of Stress)

Please feel free to share your score or experiences!

Members,

In the past week, we’ve been talking about stress management. A great preventative strategy for stress is to buff up on your time management skills. Here are a few tips:

•   Learn to delegate: You are a busy person, you can’t take care of every detail. Look at the people around you. Who could help share the load?

•  Prepare: Take some time at the end of the day to plan your next working day. This will help keep the office at the office and when you go to bed, you won’t toss & turn worrying about your next working day.

•   Take your breaks: You are much more effective if you mind & body has small periods of rest in between draining tasks.

• Judge well: Learn to judge the difference between urgent & important tasks. Often times we are interrupted by people or projects which seem urgent but in actual fact could be prioritized to a later time or the next working day.

We now invite our members to share their time management tips & tricks! Do you find it difficult to prioritize?

 °          Day dream. Give yourself five minutes and imagine yourself in a place far, far away from your desk. You can also use this time to remind yourself why your working so hard. (e.g.,Think of your family, an item your saving for such as a house or car, a promotion)

°          Make the most of your lunch hour! Many workplaces now offer exercise classes during lunch or after work. If your place of employment doesn’t offer these types of classes, check out the neighborhood. Chances are there are classes around your workplace or you can take it into your own hands. Go out for coffee & a walk before, during or after work.

°         Mini massages: Got carpal tunnel? Typing & writing can wear on your hands; try giving yourself a little massage to relieve the tension.

°         Redo your cubicle: Bring things from home like pictures, plants, a stress ball, a sudoku book. Turn your space into a place you like spending time in.

 Please share your tips for relaxing at work

Hi Pete,

Wow, it seems as though you need a full time assistant. Fortunately, without one there you still have the ability to address all the issues facing you at the moment. You can take sometime to prioritize though remember to take sometime for yourself. Use as much support as you can get and don't be afraid to ask for assistance where you can. You need to recharge and in doing so, will be able to address the many tasks/situations facing you on a day to day bases and help keep your levels of stress at a manageable level. Taking the time for you and you only will help with your stresses as well.

Take a look back at the program if you are looking for relaxation/stress reducing tips. I know it is likely that you have ones that work best for you already and know which strategies help you most.

 

You are working so hard for so many people right now remember to take some time out to be proud of that and reward yourself (especially with some "me" time).

 

Take care