EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Members List
Member View
Posts created by Fag Ash Lil

Advanced Search Form

Members List
Moderation Team
Member View
Posts created by Fag Ash Lil

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

YIKES!

Peteg ...

Now dont be going all 'giving in' on me already ... I have just had one of the toughest weeks in recent memory - and the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I am not doing this alone ... and neither are you!! My mind and my body have been doing the weirdest things this week - all sorts of tricks have been played. I have spent a lot of time talking to myself ... well, actually, not so much talking ... more kinda arguing. The 'bad' side of me is telling me all the reasons that I should just give in and have a smoke "no one will know, it will ease your suffering, just one in the morning, every morning, admit to yourself that you are destined to be a life long smoker, your gonna give in, it is just a matter of time ... do it ... do it ... do it!!!! ... have have the bloody smoke!!!!!!!) .... but then there is the 'good' side of me spitting back ... "No! No! No! .... I dont want to have to go through these first few days again, I can't keep doing this, I WILL learn to cope without cigarettes but it will take time, I am not having a cigarette, yes, I want one but I am not going to have one" and so the battle rages on almost every minute of every day. Physically - I am falling to bits ... my throat is sore and tight, I have tremors and a washing machine stomach, my sleeping pattern is all over the place and I have a bustin' headache ... Oh my God!!!! (says you!) ... this message is just ALL doom and gloom ... but the point is ... it is not ... because for all this sh*t going on .... I have NOT had a cigarette and so I am still winning ... and so are you!!! Try not to think too much about the weekend ... just get through today first .... and then we can see how we go the day after that!! Anyways, I have no plans for the weekend because I am trying to avoid everything that might 'set me off' - so outwith walking the dog and being a domestic goddess for my long sufffering husband and kids ... I will be here ... if you want to talk, moan, rant, shout (you can even swear if you want!) or basically just VENT.

Keep at it ... it's hard but you are doing great!!

Luv Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 6
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 90
Amount Saved: �28.35
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 14 Mins: 13 Seconds: 17

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

A Weary Woomin

Thanks for helping me to drag my sorry ar*e into yet another smoke free day

Cristinas: ... thank you for the quote ... it helped x

I have no doubt I shall need to call on you all again in the very near future.

P.S. I am sooooooo jealous that both you and breather have so many smoke free days - what a pity that there is no 'donation' scheme going on here ... you could donate me a couple of hundred days between you and still have plenty left over!!

Lil xx

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 6
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 90
Amount Saved: �28.35
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 14 Mins: 39 Seconds: 14

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

NEUROTIC?

Why are there so many members logged on ... and yet no one seems to have anything to say?? As a recycled 'newbie' I dont always want to be asking for help ... it would be nice just to hear others stories, it doesn't have to be something profound ... just how they got through their day smoke free - I even want ... (no... I need) to hear all the sh*tty bits too ... because I am beginning to wonder if I am the ONLY person who isn't Mrs Super Motivated ... but is doing this thing my any means she can ... I have spent almost a whole week hiding in my bedroom (because I NEVER smoked in there) I have watched hours of mind numbing TV and I have been so, so frustrated that at times that tearing my own hair out or removing my teeth with a screwdriver seemed like a suitable release for all of this ..... all of this .... this ..... Aaaargh! ..... IRRITATION .... just mindless, aimless, parasitic irritation and overwhelming frustration!!!! I dont want to drink iced water .... I dont want to eat fruit or veg ... I dont want to excercise .... I dont want to feel as if I am being punished (cos drinking water, eating healthy and exercise is just one or two steps too far down that healthy living road for me right now!!!!!!) ONE GODDAMNED THING AT A TIME .... PLEASE!!!

I just want someone ... anyone of you out there ... to tell me that you too felt sh*tty ... that you too had days when you wanted to beat your boss, smash a window hit your own head off a wall ... cry ... hide .... scream!!!!!!! Tell me about all of your really horrible times that you had (or are having) ... just help me to feel as if I am being NORMAL????

Sorry for not being all filled with light and love but I cant be a tree hugger right now .... I am too p***ed off to do all that.

TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lil

P.s I am now SHOUTING at the computer??????

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 7
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 105
Amount Saved: �33.08
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 17 Mins: 18 Seconds: 18

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

NEUROTIC?

Hullo, Brenda, Breather, Peteg and Jason

Cheers for 'talking to me' ... I do appreciate it. I live in a world divided strictly into two ... on one side are the NEVER smokers and on the other side there is the NEVER tried to give up smokers ... so I have no one here to empathise with my 'suffering'. I seem to do a little better earlier in the day ... but as the evening wears on ... my frustration levels begin to rise (It seems that 'I' am 5 hours ahead of most of 'you' ... time wise!) My post shows that it was written at 7.00pm (ish) but in reality ... I wrote it about midnight, after yet another evening of mindless TV. Yes ... I does seem that for the moment, I have misplaced my 'mo-jo' ... but I am just trying to take things as they come ... I know that eventually my frustration will drive me into being a little more productive with my time but since giving up the smokes ... my body feels a little broken and my mind is a bit angry and obsessed, therefore I am tiptoeing through each day in fear of upsetting this dysfunctional little balancing act that I have going on .

Brenda ... yeah, the excercise will have to come sooner rather than later ... because if I keep eating as I am doing ... and not exercising, they are gonna have to remove the roof of my house to get me out!!! Hey ... you must be thrilled with your success in keeping yourself trim ... well done. I cant believe that you have the will power to stop smoking and exercise ... but it is a sensible thing to do (I know!) Keep at it Brenda ... do you have any 'before' and 'after' photos?

Breather ... thanks for sharing some of your 'bad' times with me ... I know it might seem weird ... but it does help to know how much other people suffered (I know! ... it is a little warped and twisted of me!) but seriously, especially in these early days ... 'we' need to know that 'we' are being normal? and no ... there was nothing specific that triggered it off ... just craziness and frustration ... I just needed to vent!

Peteg ... I knew you would understand!!! ... and no ... I haven't smoked. Yes, almost each minute of each day it is very tempting to have 'just one' to put an end to this suffering ... but I am trying not to give in to these urges ... as it is these urges that made me stay a smoker for almost 30 years .... God! I feel like a junkie ... and this is SO hard. Still ... onwards and upwards my friend ... let me know how things are going for you ... I am a good listener ... it is in my job description!!

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 120
Amount Saved: �37.80
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 18 Mins: 25 Seconds: 4

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

DON?T!

Peteg

I think it was me who was the 'jealous one' from your post below (typical!) and although I would love to have that buffer of several hundred hard earned smoke free days under my belt ... I do take the point that your quit is only successful if you didn't smoke TODAY.

What about today for you? ... is it a winner?

Let me know how things are ...

Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 120
Amount Saved: �37.80
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 18 Mins: 28 Seconds: 28

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

Need some help from the old timers

I too would love to hear some stories from the 'old timers'. I am not so much of an old timer but I have travelled this way a few times before. The things I like best about being a non smoker is the fact that I DONT smell anymore. In fact ... I bought myself a new perfume so I would smell super nice now!! and even after so little time (8 days) ... I can breathe a bit easier, so this is good right? The downside is that I keep running out of milk ... because I haven't been to the shop in days (I would normally be in there at least once every day topping up my supply of cigarettes) still ... I have developed a liking for herbal tea and this doesn't need milk

I am away for a bit of a walk now ... trying to out run my frustration and hopefully burn off some of the tons and tons of chocolate that I have consumed this last week ... (Good God! not even Forrest Gump could do that!!!!)

Hhhm ... I rather liked spending a bit of time thinking about the 'nicer' side to my smoke deprivation.

Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 120
Amount Saved: �37.80
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 18 Mins: 49 Seconds: 3

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

DON?T!

Good Job Peteg!!!

Personal Trainer eh? ... Now this I want to hear about ... if you can still talk after he/she has finished with you!!! Keep at it Mister ... today is a winner

I think I have already mentioned ... but just in case y'all think I am a bit nutty when I talk about mornings/evenings ... that you haven't even reached yet ... this is because I am five hours in front of you - it's already almost 6.00pm here in Belfast ... but I only LIVE in Belfast ... I am a Scots woman through and through!!

Well Peteg ... let me know if you slapped the buff trainer (what was that you were saying about jealously being an ugly word? ) but lets hope that your all psyched up and motivated for the weekend.

Luv Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 120
Amount Saved: �37.80
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 18 Mins: 58 Seconds: 14

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

DON?T!

Pete

Good to hear from you ... I was thinking about you today and hoping that you would pop by. Glad to see that you took no nonsense from that personal trainer bloke .. you gotta stamp your authority from the get go!

I loved the fact that you referred to your 'beloved' as ... spouse ...

... you ole charmer you!!

Great that you made it through today ... one day.

Luv Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 120
Amount Saved: �37.80
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 19 Mins: 45 Seconds: 24

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

wee glimmer ?o hope.

Nothing too massive or profound to be posting today ... just thought that I would tell y'all that today was probably the 'easiest' day that I have experienced so far. It has been lashing with rain ALL day and I wasn't able to get out for my promised walk (except for a speed lap around the park with the dog) My throat still feels weird and I have more medical tests and results to be undertaken next week ... but ... today was the first day that I actually began to believe that maybe ... just maybe ... I could actually do this ... one day at a time.

Let's just hope that there are few more days just like today.

Lil x

P.S you people are just sooo slow ... it is almost 1.30am here, my smoke free day is done and I am off too bed.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 9
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 135
Amount Saved: �42.53
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 21 Mins: 52 Seconds: 46

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

Won a day !

Breather

Aww! Dont be like that ... you're NOT on you own, you've got Rock ... and now ... you've got ... me!

(although, it is a pitiful poor turn out on the forum these days ... it wouldn't take you to be desperate )

Anyway ... I won a day ... woo hoo!!

another one bites the dust

Luv Lil x

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/9/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 165
Amount Saved: �51.98
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 1 Mins: 45 Seconds: 17

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved