I was browsing through the topics that dealt with motivation hoping to get some motivation to help me accomplish some tasks today but I still feel discouraged. This past week I have felt myself slowly sinking into a downward spiral and I am trying with all my might to stay afloat. Simple tasks are getting harder and harder to do and when I force myself to do them they don't even make me feel any better like they should. There is no sense of accomplishment of at least getting something done. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed and shower, brush my teeth and dress.
I know I am not supposed to compare myself to others, but when I read these posts I seem alone in this state of distress.
I don't want to succumb to this, but I feel like I can't stop!
Just finding courage to post made my day a little easier. I forced myself through the daily hygiene bit and dusted, mopped, and cleaned up the kitchen! When I first saw how messy the downstairs was I was as overwhelmed as I had been in previous days, but I looked at each room separately and imagined having to clean only that room alone. It didn't seem so difficult after that. I even managed to dust and vacuum the hallway and dining room. Today I hope to get the living room and bathroom done. And then take a walk.
I am still struggling to get started in the mornings and must force myself to get up and out of bed. I am just glad I finally got something done. It's been a couple of weeks since I've been productive in any way at all.
Hi Goofy! Thanks for the positive feedback. I've read some of your posts and enjoyed your insight. I find lists helpful as well. Ever since I've been taking my meds (which has been for years now) they are pretty much a necessity because of short term memory problems. They also give me direction as I have trouble with staying on task and focusing on completing certain "to-dos".
I am working on breaking my current thought patterns but it's tough! Sometimes I forget and "like it should" or "if I was normal" pops into my my mind unconsciously. Recognizing black and white thinking is getting much better though. When you think a certain way from very early on in life it's hard to change those habits. I am determined to do this, and excited to know there is finally a way to beat my depression, but it's certainly not going to be easy.
I've already posted but I thought I should introduce myself since I am new to the forums and program. I am a 26 year old female dealing with multiple mental health issues since early childhood. Depression is my primary problem and it is quite chronic although varying in degree throughout the years. The medications I am currently on are Lexapro, Topamax, Lamictal, Focalin XR, and Abilify plus a few others when needed.
I've been in and out of therapy from the age of 12 and nothing worked long term for me. Looking deep inside myself I've realized that I have to take a little more responsibility for my depressive state and that my thinking truly is distorted. It's taken a long time for me to realize that.
Sorry for the ramble. Self discovery is insane!
I'm excited to learn more about everyone hear and about their experiences too.
I'm glad you've found this site. I've found it to be extremely helpful. It's sad but comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. Just reading posts helps me motivate myself. I'm sorry you feel so low, but as you said we are not alone. Congrats on quitting, I wish I could muster that strength myself! Sometimes it helps me to just force myself everyday to get up and shower, even if it takes some time to accomplish this. You never know if it will lead to accomplishing something more that day.
Thanks for the warm welcomes. I am definitely using the tools and working on the program on this site. I've never helt such hope about relieving my depression before coming across it. When I noticed the site had forums for support I thought it would be great to interact with others who where going through similar experiences. As for being wise, I'm not so sure I would use that description. Mostly I've just learned life lessons the hard way and had some pretty tough experiences. :) Regardless, it doesn't matter at what age, or how long, it takes you to make some changes as long as you begin the process. I know I still have quite a journey ahead of me.
Welcome! I think you'll find many people here are in situations similar to yours and that many of them find the program on this site to be immensely helpful! You seem to be very self-aware and that's a good start on the road to recovery. I hope you keep posting and tell us more about your progress and how you are doing.
Go Goofy!!! That sounds very overwhelming. All I can say is keep your head up and plow through the mess day by day. I'm working on "remodeling" and reorganizing my room so I can somewhat relate on a much more minute scale. Good days come with the bad. I guess you have to try to make the best out of what you do with the day. Winter does get one down with all the short, cold days and getting snowed in loses its novelty after a while. Just know that you're giving others motivation and that you've got some annoyingly peppy cheerleaders. ;)
Mel
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