Dumpling ... I agree that this forum is a wonderful support! I agree, too, that the timing thing on the chat is unfortunate.
You've been a great help to me as well, Dumpling. Our talks have stirred up so much sh*t that I've had to take some time out. :) That is so valuable to me! After drifting along for too much time, I've got way off course and having people like you and DLlama to talk to, I'm finding my way back.
Maybe we ought to set up some times when everyone is available to meet in the chat? I know other places that do that successfully. I can be around anytime, pretty much. It's up to you working folk to say when. :)
Gabs, good for you!!
[img]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/JR_Sandy/forum%20stuff/highfive.gif[/img]
So often we take the "easy way out" and just say we are fine when we are a world away from being fine.
LOL ... I love your answer about what your SIL can do to help. People should not offer if they are not prepared to actually DO something. It's not your job to absorb their guilt.
I love your post. Made my day, actually. Way too often we just duck and cover instead of offering honesty. If people don't like it, Gabs, they'll stop asking. At least that will be honest on their part, instead of trying to make themselves feel like the "good guy" at your expense.
You have nothing to feel guilty for! Yah yah ... easier said than done, I know, but not taking on your SIL's half arsed attempt to look like she actually is caring, well that's empowering for you.
Sounds to me like you're figuring out your place in this world just fine. :) And if folks don't like it, be assured that there are a whole lot of other folks to take their place. Not everyone is going to like me, but there are always people who do like who I really am. At least that's been my experience. I had to change friends when I changed, but with 6 billion people on the planet there's gotta be a set to fit each of us.
Good luck with your back operation. Yi. Rotten time of year for it, eh?
Again, thanks for sharing your experience. It brightened my morning to hear about your success in being you.
DL ... "shudda-wuddas" ... :p know that tune by heart. Good thought for today (although I'm a bit behind here). Stay in the now. Is exactly what I need to hold onto today.
I've crashed in a big way since starting the sessions, but am climbing my way back up the hill. Slowly, which I hate, but every day gets better. Remember a positive thought each day is one of the biggest things I can do to help myself. :)
I have spent the past couple weeks in a bit of a fog. I haven't been able to take care of things (like basic computer repair), housework, even much in the way of conversation here or in real life.
Starting the CBT Sessions has stirred up a ton of stuff for me. I've been having some extremely disturbing but highly meaningful dreams. I've broken some of my own personal "taboos" in the dreams (fighting back against my mother physically). The dreams leave me feeling out of sorts in a big way, but they also let me know that even without doing the work I expected I "should" do on the sessions, being here, talking with the folks here, doing the little work I have done ... it's all bringing to light those things which I most need to deal with.
Did anyone else find this at the beginning? It's like all this emotional gunk was stuck on my psyche and being here has loosened it up. It's ugly, but at least I can do something about it now that I can see it.
I'm still taking your advice, Danielle ... I'm not setting any time limits to get the sessions done. That's a big step for me but it has really been helpful. Instead of pushing through things, I'm letting the process take place as it will. Definitely NOT my usual style. :) Thanks again for your words of wisdom.
One thing that I've been thinking about is what my last therapist told me. I was mad because the same old issues seemed to keep coming up again and again. I felt I was locked in some kind of circle. My therapist told me no, that it was actually more like a spiral. I keep coming back to the same issues, but every time they come around the things I need to deal with are different and each time it gets easier and easier. She's right. It is much less painful than it was when I began the journey and I'm finding new things each time it comes around. I have to keep remembering that in order to not be frustrated by having to cover the same old same old ground.
Hi KDub ... I hope you find this place as helpful as I have. Lots of wonderful folks here, lots of support, and as Hazel mentioned, no judgement.
Welcome ... the more you share, the more we get to know you. :)
PS ... Love the Grinch!!
Kyra ... welcome!
Doesn't matter if this is the first time you're fighting the dragon of depression or if it's been a lifelong battle, it's still a tough thing to do.
I'm sure you'll find lots of info and support here. This place is truly the best "depression" forum I've ever found. Friendly, helpful, understanding ... all the things that help me progress.
[quote]
I sleep too much
I avoid my friends and family a lot
I am able to maintain some normalcy for my son ( I am a single mom of a 9 yr old boy)--its amazing what we Mom's can do when we have to
[/quote]
Hi Hazel ... I can identify with how you feel. Sleep and avoiding people are the two things I do with great success when I'm depressed.
As for being a Mom ... well, I don't know how anyone manages that job, never mind being a single Mom and being depressed. Hats off to you!!
The more you share here, the more you'll get to know the folks and this is a great bunch of people!
Lovelybones ... I'm so glad to hear that you, too, have found this a place of safety and refuge. I've met some wonderful people here.
I identify with the "fake it till ya make it" theory of dealing with depression. Did that for years ... until I totally crashed and wasn't able to manage it any longer.
One interesting thing I've discovered about many of us depressed people is that we are really very, very strong. We can put on a happy face for the world, maintain a "normal" life and be dying inside. We really are strong ... and now I'm learning to use that strength to deal with the emotions instead of hiding them from everyone.
Anyway, welcome!!
Hi Mgl ... and welcome :)
I struggled with that question for a long, long time. What I finally came to was very simple: There has got to be [b]something[/b] greater than me and no one says I have to identify what that is.
I'm still agnostic ... I believe there's something but my poor tiny human mind can never fully comprehend it. I just act as if there is a god, say my prayers (which consist basically of "please show me your will for me and give me the power to carry it out" in the morning and "thanks" at night). I don't go to church, I don't spend hour upon hour studying religions (as I once did) ... I just decided that god does exist and I'm not it.
I used to overcomplicate absolutely everything in my life. I think us depressives tend to be big thinkers and I don't always believe that's a good thing. :) The funny thing is the less time I put into trying to understand spirituality, the more "evidence" of something greater showed up in my life.
At any rate, you found your way here in all the billions of pages on the net ... ;)
Gabs and Casey ... thanks so much.
Gabs, I do appreciate you sharing your feelings and your story. I've done tons of therapy, but every single time something new happens to me. This is the first time I've had a group to run things by, to ask questions of. It's so comforting to hear others feel / felt the way I am now.
I tend to hide away when I feel overwhelmed or miserable, but I am finding that having the people at this board to talk with is a great help.
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