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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

OCD and health worries?

Hi Tiana,

Thank you for the very sane reponse. I really appreciate it. I worried myself last night until I felt hot and scared. I've done it many times where I almost feel like I have a fever.

These thoughts of being ill, when I am really not, have followed me since I was a child. I remember when I was 13 and going to get my tonsils out, and I thought my Dad was lying to me and that I had a much more serious problem. was silly of me.

So far we have had a good day. My wife and I worked out for a little while. I did back and shoulders while we watched Doctor WHO. The Doctor WHO The Christmas Special is on tonight on BBC America. We have been looking forward to it for months.

Exercise has always been the place I go to find piece of mind.

I know the loss of our cat has brought on some of these feelings of dread for me. When my Father died 2 years ago, I began to think there was something wrong with me.

We looked at web sites about adopting another cat. I think we are going to find one this week before we have to go back to work after the new year. My wife misses our cat terribly. That's natural when you have a pet more than half your life thus far.

Still doing the juice fast. I have made it nearly 2 days, which was my goal. Achieving this goal is giving me some needed self confidence that I have been lacking. I hate when thinking begins that downward spiral toward negativity.

Anyway, thanks so much for your stern reply. It really helped me get back on the horse. I know I will still have challenges, but if the negative thinking returns, I will look at your words.

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

It was kidney stones

For the first time in a while my worries were real. I had described a pressure in my lower back that I have had for weeks and it turns out, after a visit to the ER at midnight until 5 am, that I had 2 kidney stones. They have been bouncing around my kidneys for weeks.
I was used to throbbing pain when I get stones, but not just a stiffness or soreness in my kidney area. This is why I was thrown off from realizing what I needed to do. It also helped create a lot of anxiety and worries about possible problems I was having.

Needless to say, this revelation eased my mind and my wife's mind.

I have a follow up visit to schedule with a urologist this week. Good thing I am off until Thursday.

Thanks to all you who posted,

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

SAD Part 2

This is in addition to my SAD post in November. I figured I would start a new thread.

I think SAD is getting worse. Other than my worries last week about my kidneys or whatever health problem I imagined that I had, the depression part of SAD is affecting me right now. I am trying really hard to stick my thumb in it's eye, but it's been really hard today.

I know it has to do with less sunlight and colder temperatures, but I thought this year would be different. Then we had to put our 19 year old cat to sleep 8 days ago and then I had the emergency room visit. This, I am sure, added to my depression.

The symptoms I have are a closed in feeling, memory lapses like forgetting something I just thought of (within seconds), dissociation and anxiety. The closed in depression/memory feeling seems to be the strongest.

I also know that I have been off work 9 of the last 10 days, and even though it was a vacation, it does give me more time to worry when I would really be working and keeping my mind busy. It's not like I have been sitting around doing nothing, but with more free time comes more thinking. This is other than the two serious things my wife and I have been through these past 2 weeks. It is most upsetting for my wife because she had the cat since 1991. With me a lot of the sadness was for my wife because her heart has been broken due to the loss.

I know these things can weigh on us a lot in different ways. But for those of us who already have a depression/anxiety disorder, it just gets added to what we already have.

I have made some changes to my workouts. I have been working on my abs (core) to strengthen everything. I also did a ton of cardio yesterday and also have been doing yoga again and getting better at it again. Tonight I am going to do my relaxation program that I listen to with earphones. It's Doctor Emmett Miller's Relaxation & Inspiration. I have not done the program in a very long time and am looking forward to it.

Thanks for listening, everyone, and Happy New Year,

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

SAD Part 2

Thanks all for the nice thoughts.

I guess I did not include that we did rescue 2 kittens on Monday. They are very cute. They are sisters and their names are Piper and Ginger.

My day was pretty good. I did not sit around worrying about things. Instead, I worked out while worrying about things. LOL I did nearly an hour of yoga and then abs and shoulders.

My anxiety level is high and that causes my depression to kick in. I am still having a bit of dissociation. What's happening is SAD has combined with my fear of going back to work tomorrow. I KNOW that things will work out, but it does not make me feel any better right now. I am trying my best to stay positive.

The one question I have, and maybe some of you have had this question as well, is why does it feel to some of us that everytime I/we experience depression or anxiety or derealization/dissociation, it feels like it was the worst we ever had it and getting better will take a long time. I mean, right now I feel very anxious and depressed, but I know I have felt this way before, but in the past when I have felt similar symptoms, I ended up feeling a lot better in a couple of days.

I did take 1/2 of a diazepam about an hour ago and it feels like it helped. I know what has helped in the past was to take nearly the amount prescribed (two 5mg tablets daily). I usually can get through a week only taking about 1/4 of what is recommended as needed.

Bring on the Spring. That's when SAD usually dissipates.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

SAD Part 2

Well, for one, I have completely changed my workout routine. I mixed in yoga over the past 2 weeks and it has brought me great results. I have Rodney Yee DVD's that my wife purchased a while back. I do that and then weights and then cardio and ab work. My workout needed a change as all I was really doing was heavy weight lifting. While that can be fun and a great buzz, I needed something for relaxation. There is nothing more relaxing to the mind and body than doing 30 minutes on the bike or nearly an hour of yoga.

I also got my blood work back today and nothing is wrong with me. LOL (I always think there's something wrong with me) Cholesterol and metabolic profile checked out great. Though I do have a little lipoma fatty deposits around my waist, which for as fit as I am, are a bit annoying. They are benign and can be removed. I hate it because they seem to butt against the cartilage and my ribs. OK, enough of that.

The kittens are so much fun. My wife is still dearly heart broken over losing our cat Pinky, who was 19. The tears come often and I do what I can to console her. She was my wife's baby.

Thanks for much foe responding.

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

SAD Part 2

Sunny, thanks. Yoga has been great these past 2 weeks. Just finished doing a short routine tonight. Was going to take the night off from everything, but decided a little was OK.

Tiana, Bring on the Sring :-)

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Nervouse Ticks

What are some experiences anyone has had with nervous ticks?

I have developed several over the years. In high school, my nickname was blinky, because I squinted so much.

My Father took me to the eye doctor when I was in middle school because of the blinking. Nothing wrong with the eyes then or now.

I used to also have a shaking my head tick. I recent years the shifting/not being able to sit still ticks have emerged. I also have a coughing one as well as a sniffing one, which is contributing to my current sinus condition, which is a slight infection and sinus pain. I am using lavender around the nose and cheek for the allergy symptoms that have led to the infection.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone had similar things.

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

The job is now contributing to anxiety

One and a half years since I changed jobs. That's how long it took for an atmosphere to be created which can now cause me discomfort, as far as panic and anxiety go.

I used to, very rarely, think negative thoughts about this job for any extended period of time. But now they are trying to make everyone a sales person, and that is the focus now. It's not how good you are doing the job that as far as the description goes, but how the sales are going. Sales are not going good. It's very uncomfortable to press a current customer for more money when they originally thought it was just an inpsection. Occasionally I will get a customer who is only too happy to open the checkbook. Occasionally...

Basically, I work for a pest prevention company and I inspect do anual inspections with already established clients. One part of the job was to upsell these customers with either new or existing services. But now the task of selling is taking center stage because the company says so and because cancellations are coming in because of the fickle economy.

So, without going any further into the job description department, I used to really like this job because it was good money and the hours were good. But in addition to the selling, they also added a second Saturday, in which I work until about 1 or 2 pm.

These two factors are causing anxiety and a little panic.

I have decided that it's time to do what I was going to do at the time I started this job: Start taking classes toward working in physical therapy. I decided not to do so because I thought it would interere with the new job, and we really needed the steady income at the time. But I am not meant to be a termite inspector for the rest of my life.

OK, I feel like I have vented. Time for yogas :-)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

The job is now contributing to anxiety

Thank you so much, everyone.

Funny thing is, after I made that post, the next day I made 2 sales. LOL I could not believe it.

I was never able to make it to the school councelor, but will next week. One day I looked for the office on the way home, but the rain was so bad and the rods were worse, so I came home instead. It rained nearly all week here in central Florida.

I just need to get an update on which classes I need to start with. I did not fair to well on the math entrance test, so I know I need help there.

By the way, the 2 sales I made count toward this month's sales blitz, which happens every April. That means I do not have to work next weekend. Whatever sales I make between now and next weekend, are just gravy.

Just settling in for this weekend. I know it's 10:12 pm, but I feel like doing my shoulder workout. Gonna decide soon.

Thanks, again, so much to everyone who chimed in. As has happened so many times on here when I vent on here, the next few days I usually feel better, :-)

David

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

The job is now contributing to anxiety

Actually, I don't go to yoga classes. We have a gym in our house, and we have many yoga DVD's. I did go to classes a while back when I lived near the beach.

Maybe I will go to classes, again someday. As long as we keep mixing the DVD's up, it keeps the body guessing. Besides, classes are expensive :-)

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