Because I am a control freak...tho only with myself. I want to be able to control as much of my life and my life's direction as humanly possible. There is so much in life that I have no control over so if I can control just this one thing...my actions...then I can at least take part and take personal responsibility for the positive outcomes of my actions, not just the negative ones. I hate Minnesota because I hate being cold and I hate winter. I hate myself for moving here and for rendering myself helpless to move for a time which has now resulted in my falling for a man that will never move from here. ...so I wake up every day and know in my head and my heart that, tho I can't control the weather or the traffic it causes, I can control wut I do and wut I eat and push myself to feel happy at least in my physical well being...go to the gym, be productive at work, eat good, go home and enjoy my book and my dinner without drinking so I can wake up tomorrow and do it again.
