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I'm in trouble


Sunshine
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Sunshine
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18 years ago 0 1687 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dearest Penquin, I don't know where to start. Well, maybe with myself I have been on medication for depression for 2 years because of the death of my son, grandson, husband, and sister. My Dr didn't think it was a good time for me to quit smoking. He thought that it would make me more depressed and believe me it has there are days I'm never out of the house and can't make myself go. This past week was nothing but sadness. I couldn't put my finger on what was causing the sadness all week. I have made it so far, but I don't have the temptations that you have living with someone that smokes because I live alone. Everyday is a struggle for me, but I know that the cig's won't make me feel happy because I felt this way before I quit. I know that I'm not making any sense to you but my concentration is not very good. When I come to SSC I look for uplifting posts,and happy posts. But when I saw your and looked at you quit meter I felt I had to try and say something to you. I think that my quit meter is what keeps me from smoking. I think if I had one puff I would just give up. Try to hang tuff, and I will be thinking of you. SUNSHINE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 77 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,325 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $269.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

  • Quit Meter

    $229,913.44

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    Days: 6396 Hours: 5

    Minutes: 50 Seconds: 58

    Life Gained

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    45415

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    681,225

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Riverdale Man
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Riverdale Man
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18 years ago 0 2614 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penguin You are correct. It is a choice. Depression is a nasty and very tough place to be and to get out of, when you choose to move, when you are ready to move, please come here. If you get back on your quit, if you decide to quit, please come back. This is a supportive and vibrant place where people can unburden and find new ways, new choices. If and when you do come back I will be here for you and I will be watching for you. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 736 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $270 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
quitter
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quitter
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18 years ago 0 68 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Having struggled with depression for years and years, over and over, cigarettes or no, it helps me to look back over the past couple of weeks to what I got through without smoking. The first few weeks held surprises that would have splattered me into a chain-smoking mess. As it was, I was just a mess, on the phone making appointments, unable to talk in coherent sentences, shaking in the waiting room. When you're depressed, I know, you feel like you have to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to make it better. And smoking is so easy and immediate. What would be hard is to pick up the phone and make an appointment at the therapist's office. That's tough. Even tougher, to tell them you need to be seen right away. Tougher, to admit you may need medication for depression, even you may need to consider separation from your husband, who's not helping in this thing that would make your life so much better. That's no one's place but your own to decide, but those are options. Very scary ones. But if you were to consider them, that would be courageous, and it would be for you. It would be very strong. And compared to dying that ghastly death from smoking, what's scary? Don't give up on yourself. You can quit smoking.
redrosie
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redrosie
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18 years ago 0 1079 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penguin, I am sad for you. Sad for your depression, your unfullfilling marriage and your choice to smoke. I have suffered from depression myself, so I know how our minds can trick us into sometimes seeing things the way they may not really be. I hope you can feel happier soon and see things a little differently. I hope you make a choice to try again soon. I'm sending good feelings your way. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,014 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $688.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
smokefree
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smokefree
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18 years ago 0 64 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penguin, My doctor gave me an anti depressant called effexor XR and my depression has improved dramatically. Your depression could be chemical. My sweetheart also smokes (a lot), and I know it's hard. Good luck to you. Smokefree2

  • Quit Meter

    $22,707.50

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    Days: 5342 Hours: 23

    Minutes: 21 Seconds: 49

    Life Gained

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    45415

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    227,075

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Lady
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Lady
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18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penquin... I'm not going to yell at you either. Life is really tough and we all have to make the decisions that we feel are best for us. While I hate to see you lose your quit and it saddens me, I perfectly understand your reasoning. (Not what you expected from me huh?) My dad smokes and that makes it tempting and hard enough to stay quit. I couldn't imagine a smoking spouce. This battle is hard enough without those additions. I honestly believe that when we quit, it changes who we are. Those changes have been good for me although still very, very difficult to handle - especially the depression. I want to leave you with just one thought. One thing I have learned during my time here at the SSC is that sometimes we stumble, sometimes we fall but always, always, always we are fighting for our lives and to be free from the enslavement of smoking. Smoking will kill you my friend. You are right it is a choice. Please choose wisely. Is your life worth it? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 267 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,354 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $934.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
butterfly swimmer
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butterfly swimmer
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18 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penguin, First, breathe. Take deep breaths! Feel better? I hope so... at least a little. It sounds like you were over there hyperventalating! I think that you are very wise to come here first. You have over 100 days under your belt... 107 days of freedom! Any smoker would KILL To have that right now! Having said that, I understand the depression. I understand the lonliness you must feel right now. You feel like you're not happy not smoking, but will smoking MAKE you happy? It might just make you more depressed and miserable than you already are (believe me, I've been there). Like you said... it's a choice. Here's my advice... don't give up right now... wait a week before you make this choice. In that time, read here, read over your reasons, you may even want to talk to your husband. If you still want to give up on your quit, then go. I'd hate to see you leave, but your happiness and your marriage are of utmost importance and if the only way that you will be happy is to smoke, then so be it. But don't decide right now. Read and post and consider what you are doing. I just want to leave you with one final... you are free! Smoking will put you right back where you were, which is wishing you were where you are now. Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 148 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,719 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $488.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8
Luna
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Luna
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18 years ago 0 989 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I remember my depression at 100 days. My heart goes out to you. It is still a struggle sometimes with moods. One thing I try to keep in mind is that we have been taking a mind altering drug for a gzillion years. No wonder we are depressed. I just keep pluggin along trying not to take anything I am feeling too seriously - at least for the first 1 1/2 years. Sort of like the advice they give you after a spouse dies. Well, we we thought of cigarettes as our "best friend" and he/she died when we stopped smoking...so we should take the same advice when we quit. Anyway, I hope you will do the same. Take a deep breath and keep your pride and your quit. If you cannot, we will be here whenever you are ready. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 345 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,626 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1207.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 48 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

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    $794,762.50

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    Days: 5682 Hours: 21

    Minutes: 23 Seconds: 30

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    45415

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    1,135,375

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Where do I start. I waited and waited until I made it to the BEACH. I had a party to celebrate my arriving, but then it hit....depression. SO WHAT. I was tired of fighting the still almost constant thoughts. Craves...not really...until today. As you may know, my husband did not quit with me, and I had to battle with that issue, which I thought I did. But throughout the week while I was wallowing in my depressive thoughts, I was becomming more and more saddened and confused about my unfulfilling marriage and just how quitting smoking was going to make it better. Yeah thats one part of it, and I was happier, but I am tired of fighting. I kept telling myself to hold on, that it would get better, but when. I know, I know Tuesday. Anyway, I know I'm rambling and not making much sense, as seems to be my tone this week. I started having craves this morning. Tried and tried to fight back, but said to hell with it. I'm smoking for today and I am smoking for spite, and I don't know if I want to stay quit. I went through all the reasons and all the Junkie talk back. It's a choice!!! Right. I'm just choosing not to be happy right now....my old way of handling things. It's a choice!!! You bet it is....either way. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 107 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,692 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1230.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

  • Quit Meter

    $330,394.13

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    Days: 6026 Hours: 16

    Minutes: 6 Seconds: 59

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    45415

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  • Quit Meter

    681,225

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

JJ
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JJ
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18 years ago 0 56 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Penguin- I'm not going to lecture or judge just tell you that I thought every milestone was hard-especially the 100 day slump. Someone said it was because it was the lows of 2 of the important neurotransmitters. Depression is rough and it does wear you out. Your doctor may be able to help there. You really have fought so hard for 107 days and I haven't heard anyone say "I'm glad I quit quitting". I get the impression that it is difficult to go home on this one and have it feel the same. Godspeed to you- we wish you would stay with us but wish you well. JJ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/24/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 366 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,005 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1738.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 48 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

  • Quit Meter

    $58,861.25

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 626 Hours: 18

    Minutes: 35 Seconds: 56

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    4805

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    168,175

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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