TryAgain,
I totally understand where you're at right now! I did the exact same thing earlier in my quit, except I was over a year quit and decided that I didn't like being quit and wanted to go back to smoking. Now, you couln't MAKE me smoke if you tied me up, held my nose and put a cigarette in my mouth... I'd try to find SOME way to not smoke that thing... because that's how much I LOVE not smoking now. What I'm saying is that things CAN change... but you have to be open to allowing yourself to like being quit. That might be hard to do.
It's a very easy excuse to say "I don't like quitting" and then go back to smoking because you don't like being quit. But the thing is, I don't think that it's that you don't like being quit... you just don't like some of the EARLY side effects that come with quitting. [b]The side effects of quitting will go away... the side effects of smoking will be there for as long as you smoke and maybe longer than that!!![/b] Think about that!
The longer you are quit, the fewer cravings you will have. That one goes away with time. The weight gain can be controlled. Many have LOST weight while quitting. Also, they say that you would have to gain 100 lbs while quitting in order to equal the ill effects of smoking. Are you going to gain 100 lbs? Probably not! So you're STILL healthier by quitting! As for the disruption in your life, what disruptions does it cause? Think about that and then think about what you can do to minimize those disruptions. Quitting doesn't HAVE to turn your life upside down... but getting diagnosed with cancer will!
Tryagain, I just don't believe that you truly don't want to stay quit. If that were true, you would not have been able to quit for 122 days! You wouldn't have lasted a week if you really didn't want to. I think that there are more layers to that onion. I think that the junkie in you is convincing you that you've reached the core, when in reality, you're still near the surface! Dig deeper. And answer me this question "If you REALLY didn't want to quit, then why have you been quit for 122 days?" When you answer that question for yourself, you will find the answer to your other question "How do you want to quit?" The desire is in you... it's just being masked by the cravings.
Crave the Quit!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 711
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 17,775
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,936.43
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 50 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28
