EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Medications
TCA (amitriptyline)

Advanced Search Form

TCA (amitriptyline)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

I'm late responding but I took Elavil for about a year. I started on it for sleep at 10mg at night and then my doc at the time decided to up it to 30mg at night and 10mg 3x a day. It made me really sleepy but other than that no side effects. No weight gain that I can remember. Really one of the easier drugs I've been on side effect wise. But then I don't think I was on that high of a dose...probably on the lower end

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Thanks Goofy,

I think I'm showing my tendency to need to know all the answers and my low tolerance to uncertainty. (Hey, I'm a scientist..... it's in my nature)

It's so nice to hear that others have had struggles too. I just need to remind myself that it's not my fault when things don't work out.

My friend suggested I try the counsellors at uni who are more likely to understand my life situation and current issues.

So I guess I just need to go 'shopping' for a pdoc.

Oh, and get off my bottom and stop being so chicken about contacting a counsellor/psychologist/pdoc.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

TigerT,

I am not defending pdocs or therapists by any means and no insult to anyone intended, however, the nature of the beast of mental illness is it's not a cut and dried, scientifically studied area. As some say, the brain is the last frontier. Diagnosis come from meeting certain criteria in a book (DSM) in which symptoms overlap under different diagnosis. This leads to a frustrated and confused patient. Medications are also guess work for the most part and trial and error (I've found mostly error), as I'm sure most on here have had some bad experiences with the guesswork aspect of medication treatment. The good news is that it is, in my opinion, irrelevant what they call it as long as they can help me via any means. (no ECT).

I will say that CBT has been scientifically studied and proven to be effective (the Depression Center, as you know, is based on CBT). One studied indicated it was found to be the most effective treatment for persons with depression. lol, this is not a commercial and most of this information did not come from this website. Other therapeutic theories are not able to be measured with valid and reliable data. Interpersonal Psychotherapy, I think that's it, I learned about it on here, is also been studied as well. There is a CBT website and one for IPT that you can review references and studies, etc. which discuss it's effectiveness.

In addition to this website I also have a pdoc, take meds, see a therapist and a whole host of other activities to try to maintain stability.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that we share your frustration with docs and meds and getting to the bottom of things and at the same time encourage you to utilize this program to the fullest extent possible. lol, I think I'm an old timer, I refused to go away.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi TigerT,

I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience at your appointment. It is a good idea for you to write down every thing that has happened, it will hopefully put things into focus. It can definitely be hard to remember time lines and details without writing things down. Consider this a positive accomplishment for yourself and remember to write these down as well. Continue to strive forward and lean on us for support.

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Well the pdoc appointment was.... crap. For many different reasons, that I'm still trying to figure out and resolve. I walked into the office and the second question he asked me was about my planning to c* s*. My response was that I didn't really want to talk about that.. so now I'm a difficult patient and the plans to c* s* indicate I'm impulsive?!?!? (it was one of the more well thought out things I have done.)

I've decided to sit down and write out this and past 'episodes' from the beginning and try and organise in my mind exactly what happened. Every doctor who I have seen seems to have different opinions and advice about the whole thing. Oh, and even different diagnoses. Some of which seem totally unfounded or unrelated to my experiences, or contradict the previous doc.

Since I'm feeling SO much better I'm tempted to say "Stuff this I can take care of myself!"

Anyway, enough of my whinging.

So I've decided to write everything down and make an appointment to a DIFFERENT pdoc and make a copy and give it to them, and so overcome my lack of a consistent memory and my hatred of having to talk about all of this to someone I barely know.

Because I have been so reluctant to talk I feel that everyone seems to just want to chuck drugs at me, and no-one has given me a long term plan or suggestions as to how I could improve my non-existent self esteem. I know I need to learn to open up, but it's not something I'm good at. After having spent so much of my life feeling down, I just pretended that I felt fine and hid it from everyone. I've not talked about my experiences and feelings for such a long time I don't understand why everyone expects me to open up immediately!

At least my friends are patient and supportive. :-)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi TigerT,

Thank you for sharing this with us. It is a great idea to write out your thoughts and challenge those negative core beliefs! Someone has been doing their homework, good on ya TigerT! It sounds like working through the program has allowed you to make some really great discoveries about yourself. You have been asking yourself some really important questions, be sure to use a journal if you can. I commend you for admitting to your fears and of course fighting them. Keep working through the program, it will help you with all of this. It sounds like writing this all down has helped you to put things into perspective. Putting your thoughts and feelings onto paper or "screen" can really help create a visual for yourself. You can also look back and read through this at any time. If you keep all of this in your head, you can forget exactly how you were feeling at the time...etc.

Have you been using a journal to jot down your thoughts, questions and feelings? How has verbalizing your thoughts helped you find clarity? Having laid all of this out, what is your updated game plan?

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

never had to open up to another person. The wall always had to stay up, so I could never get or let anyone get close to me, or see or hear what I felt or think.

And as a result I am now finding it very hard to talk to people about the depression, expressing my feelings, and even acknowledging my feelings. I've been suppressing, ignoring and pretending for so long.

Of the few people I have told about the depression, my three closer friends have not been surprised, and the rest (including my immediate family!) claim they had no idea. So I guess that means I’m a good actor, but it also poses another problem. How much should I tell people? I’m scared that they will be horrified, or be driven away. On the surface I’m a bubbly, happy, chatty person and I’ve found that if I act in this way others reciprocate, and this creates a kind of happiness bubble. I take joy in seeing and making others happy, but I feel like I have never been happy myself. If people ask how I’m feeling, and I tell them, they look worried and concerned, and I feel that I am causing them pain. And its not like me telling them how I am feeling is helping me or making me feel better, and they all ask what they can do to help and I never know what to say.

Then again, as I write this, I’m realizing that being on these forums and writing this out IS helping, maybe I just need someone to listen? Maybe I just need practice in telling someone how I feel? Maybe I need to work out what it is that I feel?

Is anyone else as confused as I am? (but confused with a glimmer of hope and understanding!)

Wow, this has been a long one, but again, verbalizing this has made me feel a lot better, and brought some much needed clarity. (I wonder what other issues I have lurking inside of me?) Hopefully having written this will help me tomorrow morning.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

locked up again (still having issues with s* ideation), but also that I’ll look and act like I’m fine, and be left again without support or a lifeline.

I think my "lifestyle" is okay (I've even cut out coffee and alcohol totally over the last few months).... but I am starting to worry if it’s me or my life that is the problem…. (And let the constantly suppressed self-hatred raise its head!)

I know that self-esteem and a bundle of negative core beliefs are a big problem of mine. And I think this is also linked to the fact that I've been suffering from depression since I've been very young (apparently since I’ve been 12 or 13!?!?!) and without complete remission between episodes (or at least this is how its been explained to me - dysthymia and recurrent major depression?) and now that I am feeling a lot better I'm really starting to wonder who I really am. My development of an adult identity, my views about myself and the world around me have all been formed during this time. I mean, who am I, what to I really enjoy doing, what am I good at? Am I even a good and interesting person? What do I want to achieve in my long and short-term goals? WILL I ever achieve anything?

And also the fear that this is just me, and drugs are just a patch over the true crap-ness that is me….. and if this is the case, bring on the drugs, ‘cause this is not who I want to be! Rest assured I am trying to fight these fears, and I know that this is not what I want, and not who I want to be – therefore the drive for change is there, I just need to work at it. And in a way, this should be exciting, I mean who knew that normal people sleep through the night, (have a desire for sex!) and wake up feeling wonderful each and every day! How much easier and wonderful will life be when I get on top of this. How much more is out there for me to experience and enjoy? Each day it’s like a whole new world and a whole new life full of new and wonderful experiences and opportunities that I never considered before.

Despite the fact that my last semester’s marks at uni have destroyed my mark average so much that my dream of studying medicine is no longer a realistic possibility. Which hurts more than you can possibly imagine. There is an element of hope, a future DOES exist. I just need to keep reminding myself of this.

Not only have I undertaken a great deal of self introspection, but chatting to a few friends and some unsolicited compliments that I have received recently are making me realize that much of my behavior is a result of this, and possibly the development of a series of defense mechanisms. So that I could function as a normal person without letting anyone know how terrible and desperate I was feeling every day. And running around, always doing something, filling up any and every spare moment, so I never had time to stop, and think, and feel. I've never had a close relationship (romantic or otherwise) because I've never been able to be close to another person, I’ve been too scared to be with someone, that they would see through me and I’ve always pulled away so I’ve

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Thanks Lance.

You sure gave me a lot to think about.

Thank you. You’ve given me a bit of a ‘kick in the bum’ that I really needed. I’ll let you know what the pdoc thinks.

The below is just me verbalizing my thoughts.... and I am tempted to tell you not to bother reading, but I have a sneaking suspicion this may be a very good example of a negative assumption/ core belief! Despite any thoughts I may have, writing this out at least this allows me to think things through and this being online and possibly read by others has forced me to keep my negativity to a minimum!

Anyway, I've gone back to my GP and got a referral to a psychologist for counseling (what ever that actually is?), and I have an appointment with a pdoc tomorrow. I haven't seen one outside of my hospital experience, so I have no idea what will happen and I have to confess I'm just a little bit nervous. I’m terrified that I might be lock

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

I would ask the Dr. about current med dosage and the possibility of bipolar first. If you add meds to meds because things aren't right, you mask the issues that may need to be corrected. Also, diet, lifestyle and excercise play a role in our sleep issues. Just things like soda, caffeine, even smoking.

I researched all my issues over the last several years. It started with panic attacks when driving, then depression issues and finding out I had bipolar issues. We all have issues and they all get labeled.

What I'm getting at is we need to learn about our issues and learn what it takes to deal with them, recover and move forward. Meds help, they helped me a lot. But, I now know I need to do whats right for me to fix the issues. Not just think meds will do it for me. They won't. Hope I'm helping, I think this is important, so we can have a life and get past this.

I say, if I dont know something, I google it. I learn a lot. I research my research since the internet is a big mess of info as well as a lot of opinion.

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

TCA (amitriptyline)