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10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Today is going to be a day of rest..

I got up a 3 a.m. and was very sick physically from stress. I thought I was going to have to go to Emergency.

So today is going to be a day of laying on the couch with my feet up and reading and watching some television..We are making some potato soup and white toast for my tummy There is a documentary show called Mountainmen on the History Channel right now. So this will be a great way to relax. Than maybe I will shut off my phones for a few days and everything can go to voice mail for now. If I could just stop the mail for a week or two that would be great..When we leave town we stop the mail so maybe I can do that now even though I am not leaving town and maybe we can take a vacation here at home..if not once I am well again than maybe we can hop in the travel and get away again for a while..

Getting Well and Rested..That's the plan for now.

Red...

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Thanks Again Ashley,

Getting out and walking around a bit was good...The problem I have now is that the house and my home have become a trigger being that the mail and phones calls are made and come in here at home..It is like the clinic is with me here in the house tormenting me all the time..My dreams are full of nightmares Scripps Clinic and their Hospital most every night now.

This past 10 years of going their have been very traumatic..As for the money they are stealing from me well it will be in the thousands which is a lot for me being my widow pension is only 1,200 dollars a month. I have managed to put a little a way but still this money was not supposed to be given away to this Evil Corporate Giant that has not done one thing to help me..They have only hurt me. So yes it is hard to give up and bite the bullet and give them money they have not earned. This money could have been used in a good way to help others in need, like me or my family. It does sicken me to give in when I know they are wrong, but if we have to we will and we will make due and pay them off to save me..

I do not feel right about all this but once it is done and they are out of my life and home than I think I can fine peace and rest my soul..

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Hi Red,

No need to apologize at all. I am glad you are getting this all off your chest. It sounds like such a headache! I hate to hear how stressed you are about this. I can completely understand it but I hope you find peace soon. This will get sorted out one way or another and in the end it is only money. I don't want to assume you are ok financially now and perhaps I really shouldn't as it is very hard to be "ok" financially these days; but, as long as you can cover your basic needs money really doesn't make a difference in overall happiness. Focus on what does make you happy now and try not to get sucked into the stress of it all. As I am writing this I am getting a sense that you will be able to let go of the stress once you do go through the emotions of it all. So if you have to be upset and even angry for awhile that's ok. Just be sure to get centered and focused on what YOU chose and want to focus on once you're ready. In the mean time we're here to listen (read).

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Thanks Ashley,

The day is turning out to be a real struggle and the anxiety is high and now the sadness and depression is starting to set in a bit..

I have just received another large bill from this Health Care Clinic/ Hospital that I go to for $500 and their will be more coming I am sure..They advised me to have procedures done that they knew might not be covered..I spent the last 2 weeks on the phone protesting a bill that I paid and my that my insurance paid too..They are not supposed to charge and get paid by both of us. Todays Bill is just one of a ongoing problem, So todays mail was just added on to my plate and I am already drowning in it. I wish I could relax today but I just can't..I was mad and still am but now I want to sit down and cry from the stress of it..Anyway we are going to get out and drive around in the car for a while and see if that helps a bit..I know it sounds crazy but I just have to get out for a while before I lose my mind but first I think I am going to cry a bit. I sure am not looking forward to this coming Monday or the day after that and after that and so on..I really see no end to it..We are going to see if we can get some kind of closing bill and buy our way out of this..Then we will never have to go back to the clinic or their hospital..and maybe my nightly nightmares and this nightmare will finally will stop..We will go to a hospital emergency room thats near by if I get real sick..There is really no where to turn and that makes us sad and sick.The damage that they have done is not something that can be fixed.

Well I guess I have said enough today and probably way to much but I was feeling scared and sad and just needed to talk about it a bit..It is starting to feel like a grieving to me..Sorry if I drug anyone down with it. My life is not all wine and roses it seems these days..

Talk to you soon..

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Glad you got the out too Red.

Whatever you decide to do please just be sure you are putting your health and wellbeing first. We'll be here for you no matter what.

Sending you some strength and warmth today. Hope you can let go of this frustration and enjoy some of your Saturday.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Caution a bit of a rant here...

I have been on the phone or computer all day..I am glad this day is done. but I am not sure when things will be resolved and over with.. I hate the phone. I hate HealthCare clinic and billing depts...I thought it was about providing Care to people and improving their health and not making them sick with nothing but bull****...

I will be shutting off all my phones for a good long while now..It won't be the first time or the last. I have even changed my cell phone number before to get rid of these parasites and refused to see a doctor for a couple of years before..Now that's a good idea! and if I need help I can go to Urgent Care or call 911 and I just might get some help for someone who Cares..

I guess if they want to talk to me they will just have to contact me in writing via the u.s.postal service..I much prefer to have things in writing anyway..Good by and go riddens to the lot of them..

Now that feels better. What a load off my chest.

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Yesterday and Today were busy days with dentist and doctor appointments..Labs are looking much better, doc is trying my on niacin to lower my triglycerides, it's kind of a experiment. I am very happy about my progress so far. My A1c was 6.1 which is great and my fasting blood sugar is 107..My bp is good to at home. The doctor doesn't belief me so I am keeping a log for him and will mail it in 2 weeks. I have not lost weight so he didn't like that..I think he is looking for perfection and I have decided that perfection is not important to me anymore. I exercise in moderation now and eat sensible. I have slowed down a bit and have started to relax some and I am really ok with that...I do not want to spent the last of my days on a starvation diet and or doing strenuous exercise programs anymore now that I am older..I am happy with my life and I want to spend some time enjoying it now..Aging is a natural process. I do pity him, he is young and just found out about my thickened heart and stiffened heart so he is concerned.

He was so upset today about a new patient portal that the have and it is not working right..Lots of his patent had been calling and telling him they were not getting his messages or lab results..His so called Computer Whiz kept telling him the system was just fine..The doc said the system was driving him crazy..So I sat the doc down and we both sat down and logged into me patient portal so he could see what all the patients were talking about..The doc was happy because he now had proof that there was something wrong with the system and was armed with amino to show the computer whiz..

You have to feel sorry for these doctor having to deal with a screwed up health care system and a screwed up computer system or operators and still find some way to take care of and help there patients..

Funny I want in to see the doctor as a patient and instead I ended up helping the doc instead..

It makes me wonder about what Nostradamus said about a web over the world and how the world wide web all it encompasses..I wonder where all this is going and how it will end..

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Vincenza,

It was a regular sunday. I went to church, made breakfast, lunch, and helped connect mom and her sister in Europe through phonecall.

I spent some time figuring out some of the things that are needed for the porch project, and then made an omelette using mint and parseley from the garden, while mom watched a taped mass for shut-ins.

Then I veg'd out watching some tv. Mom's in bed now, and I'm going to plan to go to the gym tomorrow.

I changed my screensaver to show the whole house, instead of just the porch, which needs some renovation. That small change, might be helpful, but change isn't the easiest thing to embrace, I find. Once a friend emailed me a link to encourage me. It was about the magnitude of the planets and our small place in the universe, in proportion to the rest of the universe, since astronomers can measure and compare so much with their tools today. It hasn't been a special summer, since I didn't fall in love, or get anything special done, but I know it's over in a few weeks....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Today my day started early 5:30 am I pampered myself with a shower and did my hair first thing..Than off to the swapmeet to get in a walk before it gets to hot, at 7am it was 80 degrees and very humid..Next stop off and get some supplies than home to rest and cook a nice vege breakfast burrito..Watched a dvd, did a little reading, then make cheese omelets for lunch/dinner, the into the home office, scanned and emailed off some paperwork. Now it's time to get comfortable for the evening it 6:20 pm.. Things I am grateful for today..I had a stress free day today, Edd is mowing the lawns for me and I let up on myself a little today...

Red...

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Today I tilled the parts of the garden that are already harvested and the parts that are summer fallow. There is a power pole at the bottom of the garden and it has a guy wire on it. So I was being very careful not to hook it. And I didn't. But I didn't see the potato fork and tilled it under. These things happen. So I have to find the other one now. There isn't much left of this one.

What am I grateful for. The sun is shining. I can still get on a tractor. And I have reason to. But I sure wish I hadn't destroyed my potato fork.

Davit

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