How do we measure self-esteem in our current society by comparing ourselves to other. Consequently if someone told you were just average most people take offense to this statement. Therefore, if you look for self-esteem by comparing yourself to others then you are likely to want to be better than them and strive for perfectionism or some other infliction like workaholics.
I do not know if this is factual for Davit it is just what I am interpreting from what he said based on his post. It seems to me that most of Davit core belief came from comparing himself to his brother, the rest of society, or believing that it is bad from being different from everyone else. I wonder why it seems that our negative core beliefs come from comparing ourselves to others. Does someone have another answer other then the search for self-esteem. By the way, if I trace most of my negative core beliefs to their root they come from comparing me to others.
I believe that Davit has it right when he says that you have to accept yourself for who you are above average in some areas and bellow in others. The problem with looking for self-esteem if it is goal oriented, is that when we fail our self-esteem takes a nosedive. It waxes and weans with the ups and downs of life.
The antidote to this is self-compassion if you can show yourself self-compassion and you are on a down part of life your mood you will not be as exposed to the ups and downs of self-esteem and comparison to others.
Basically what Davit has said is correct in my opinion if you accept yourself for who you are right now and show yourself compassion in a hard times you will not be exposed to the negative core beliefs. You can be your best friend and not look to others this would be the one constant you will have all your life if you can develop compassion. It will never leave you and is not be subject to examination.
It probably does help to know where your negative core belief are so that when they show, you can show yourself compassion, so finding them is still a good exercise in my opinion. You do not have to like where you are right now in your progression toward mental health and a sensation of panic attacks. Can you accept yourself for the panic attack and anxieties and all the other faults right know and write yourself a letter as if you were talking to a person who is going thought the same problem you are right now. Does showing yourself compassion and accepting how you are right now scare you.
One of the reasons this works well as that even thought we are suffering from the same problem mentally, we will never know what it is like to be exactly in the other person shoes. If I say think of a yellow lemon in your head assuming that no one is color blind I do not think anyone can see the exact color or shade you are picturing. Although we all know what the lemon is (panic attacks and anxieties) you will not know the shade of another person lemon.
Don’t misunderstand me I think it is equally important to have someone who you can have a connection to and this site offers people with similar problems can certainly give you a different perspective then someone without a mood problem.
I forgot if you feel like righting yourself a letter try putting it away for a few days and read it latter it will blow your mind (no literally just joking).
Dizzy