A rather good day both mentally and physically and there is a connection.
Light drizzle most of the day. A few flakes. Bottled some wine and packed it down to the cellar to age for a few years. Bottled the rest to give away. Not a hobby with fast results. I could drink it, it isn't hooch. But I'm more interested in making something fine for special occasions with the odd glass with supper. Very odd lately since I have no one to share it and supper with. But I'm working on that. A couple of locals have been very friendly. Ah, but then I don't know if I want to do that again. I'm rather set in my routine. And the cats have free run of the house again. There seems to be a role reversal with age. Men get cats and women get dogs. And the truth is they are too much work. But then I'm a sucker for cats.
Except for a bit of a mess I'm done for the day. Time for a movie and a cup of tea to relax. Chocolate would be nice. But I pigged out and ate it all. I'll see what I weigh tomorrow, maybe there will be room for a wee bit of chocolate. Probably not since I couldn't totally avoid the salt today.
Looking at shovelling snow as a break between "real" chores, I'm wondering why I even go to the gym, since It's going to require a great effort to get there, with the weather forecast.
I was looking at "spinning" classes, only because the staff at the gym gave me a copy of the schedule. I hadn't asked for that schedule, only the exercise classes.
Isn't "spinning", just sitting on a bike that doesn't really go anywhere, while you pay somebody to tell you what to do?
Not much to say today. The roof tops where all white this morning when I got up. Who would of thought that it would get close to 80 degrees today. It has been a very busy week with lots of exposure. Today was a bit stressful too. I had to go out when I really wanted and needed to stay home and unwind for a least 24 hours. Maybe tomorrow. I hope to get a good nights sleep tonight which should help.
We had dry snow, and it was light. It will be cold for a couple of days, until we get more snow and warming up to zero.
I'm going to sweep the veranda. It actually bothers me that neighbours shared cleaning my sidewalk. I always feel so independent...but it wasn't always like that.
Well it is wet today. Sort of snowing sort of raining. I went to town to send off a parcel. Some candle sticks and small woodwork to England. It cost less to send them to England than it would across Canada. That seems kind of dumb. In fact it cost more a couple of years ago to send a candle stick across the same province.
I think I'll make some chilli for supper. I will probably do laundry too, even though my heart isn't in it. I'd rather go sleep with the cats. There is lots to do, I just don't feel like doing any of it. Winter I think. Forecast is for wet snow or rain for a few days. Yuk hey. I hope this quits before Christmas.
I haven't seen my Therapist in over a year. I was prepared to have to explain a lot of discoveries I'd made and even back up my reasoning. I mean these were my discoveries and I'm proud of them. Well I sat there like a ballon with a hole in it. She knew it all and yes I was right on all counts. It was all new to me but not her. She silently and subconsciously set me up to go find my own answers so I would not only learn it but absorb it and prove it too. I know it works better than just being told. And it is anchored more solid.
She also told me my personal life is getting off track a bit and to fix it but not how, just where it needs fixing. Right now I have a higher tendency to anxiety than normal and need to find the reason why not just use coping skills to manage it. So I have some digging to do. I need to pry my caboose back on the tracks.
The rest of the hour was more interesting information to work with. I feel like a kid with a new toy.
I was her worst case and I'm her most stable now. I'm doing something right.
Davit.
Some one stopped in while I was in town and shovelled some snow for me. I'm pretty sure it was Richard.
Wish I had of bought some chocolate, but it was a long day.
I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow. First time in over a year. Just to see if I'm still acting normal or if there is anything I need to address. Anything I'm avoiding that could spring up over the holiday. A good time to get some answers to some questions I have too.
Good about the promotion even if you still don't want the job.
I've yet to meet a shrink that prescribes anything but medication. I know four of them in the last 30 years. But Therapists can't prescribe meds.
It's been a while since I been on here. Been working on things and seeing my therapist and all. Things are going on, I am starting to feel better in a sense. Over Thanksgiving I saw one brother and his family. My other brother also called after not talking to us for over a year and we are going to try to fix things, my mom misses his kids.
I saw the shrink again also, but I am not impressed with him, I just don't think he cares much, which is why I am glad I have my therapist, she is a lot more helpful. The shrink takes my blood pressure and asks me a few questions and then he is done :/
I'm trying to stay focus on the present and not let the worries of things get to me. I am ting to be more positive as well. I did get a promotion and raise at work, but I'm still looking elsewhere for a job more in my field. I appreciate finally having the title that I been working for over a year and all, but I don't want to stay in HR. I like my company and the CEO and others, but its not in my field.
I hope everyone is doing ok though. I also hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.
When I was a young man I could eat anything, BP was perfect weight was ideal and I slept like a rock, in fact I could sleep on a rock. And I seldom ached. Except for the weekly hangover and the odd cold, life was good.
Now I start off every day aching, I dare not have a wrinkle in the sheets and the pillow has to be just right. I'm so busy fighting other things I don't have time for a cold. As for food. I can still eat anything. I just pay for it big time. BP goes to hell, weight rides on it's coat tail and I feel so sick if I have more than one glass of wine that there is no chance of hang over. Well life is still good, I eat better and the odd glass of wine or cider doesn't hurt me. Chocolate is a treat. Treats are a treat instead of a staple and I spend more time sitting on my ass watching the world turn instead of working it off trying to keep ahead. Funny thing is that when I look back at the good times they are doing the same thing I'm doing now. Salt and sugar restricted diet, lots of sleep and very little booze. Plenty of time to look around.
The one thing anxiety did for me was to keep me out of a world I'm glad I couldn't enter. I wonder if I would have had the brains to stay out voluntarily. At the time it looked like a good place to be. Now it just looks like a good place to be from.
I've never done that, in our cluttered house. Although now, I have the ability to follow a recipe! That would be a stretch. And I really don't have anyone to invite, with some tension in the immediate family, and the dried up social circle, due to caregiving. I have suggested an outing because it's not healthy for mom.
Relatives just never visit, although I have half a dozen cousins. I believe there's a also a stigma around my mom's becoming a widow, and some reluctance to accept visitors, so it's a mix.
I'll just add it to my bucket list(if I could find the file)
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