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How do I stop worrying...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Coldgirl,

I can see how you would be nervous about your mother's symptoms but please don't look at the internet to diagnose. Doing that can terrify you! There is a lot of information out there and it is easy to jump to conclusions. Take a look at the worry stopping techniques in Session 13 to help you.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Thank you so much so for your replies Shari and Steven. I am trying not to worry but it is just so hard. I think (and hoping) that with time and practice it will get better. I'm so glad my doctor told me about this site because no one around me really understands what I am going through.

Thanks again for your replies and I really like the Mark Twain's quote, Steve.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Hi coldgirl,

As a recovering "catastrophizer" I can relate to what you're saying and I agree with Shari's take. Another useful tool is for challenging these thoughts is providing evidence against them. For instance, what is the probability of it being a chest cold Vs. lung cancer. I'm sure there are stats on these topics somewhere online. When I'm in such a situation, I try to remember 2 things:

1. "Occam's Razor" -- in plain terms this principle states that the simplest answer/explanation is usually the right or best one. In other words "Keep it Simple"

2. Mark Twain's quote, "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

Perhaps these can help you as they helped me.

Take care,

Steve

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Welcome coldgirl,

Replacing negative thoughts with positive truths is a coping skill that works. Over time you train your brain to look at the positive instead of automatically defaulting to negative thoughts. I know it's easier said than done, but over time it gets easier. I used to worry about my health and my older parents health all the time. 99% of what I worried about never came true. I've looked up symptoms on websites too, for family and for pets and there are the same symptoms for a myriad of things. Lung cancer can have the same symptoms as a chest cold. In your Tool Box, on this site, there is a section on Common Types of Negative Thoughts like Jumping to Conclusions, Catastrophizing, Fear Goggles, and All-or-None Thinking that will help. Also, Challenge Negative Thoughts with 10 Questions, that will help also. Right now you can tell yourself that your Mom is being pro active by going to the doctor. And, you can choose not to worry about it or make it a 100% negative outcome. The truth is, you don't know what it is, and you can handle whatever the test results are. Thinking of it that way can quiet the run away negative thoughts in your mind. Every time you think, oh no it's cancer, tell yourself, you don't know that it's cancer, because you don't have the test results back yet, it could be a common chest cold. There's also a section on "What if" thinking in your Tool Box. What if it's cancer? Then counteract that thought with, What if it's NOT cancer. Keep telling yourself that you can handle it, no matter what the result is. But, I would try not to worry until you know the facts, because then you've wasted days making yourself sick over nothing. I hope this helps and I hope I didn't come off harsh which was not my intention :) Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones will help you cope for a couple of days until your Mom gets her test results back.

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

I constantly worry about mine and my parents health. My mom has been coughing for awhile now and of course I looked up the symptoms and it came up as lung cancer and the scary thing is that most of the symptoms match. Now I am super worried but I don't want to scare her. She went to do her X-Ray and I think she is supposed to see the doctor in a couple of days. Meanwhile, I am just losing my mind!

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