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Having a crappy day... Just need to vent...by writing...


15 years ago 0 477 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Glad you are having a better day! I am too.
15 years ago 0 313 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Miki, Danielle and CD..
 
Thank you all for taking the time to read and reply... greatly appreciated.   I was just having an off day.. It got better and I had a great sleep... so today is a new one and I just have to pick myself up again and keep on smiling... :) 
 
I will clarify for you CD what OCD is ... Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.. The repetitive actions your referring to are the compulsions often used to cope with the obsessions....  I though only deal with obsessions... and my compulsions are low... and much easier to deal with.. Cleaning etc... I can be quite neurotic when it's bad but hey a clean house never hurt anyone.. The obsessions though can be disturbing.. Meds for the most part work BUT I do need to go back to counselling for CBT therapy geared for OCD and I'm procrastinating... but that's a whole other story... lol....
 
As for my religious thoughts.. that is just my newest thing... I fear death anyways so why not toss in the the religion too.. .lol.. I have been "searching" for some time as to what I should be doing for myself and kids but find life gets busy and Church doesn't fit our soccer schedule.. lol.. so every once in a while I panic about it... Thank you all for sharing your thoughts though and making me feel NOT alone..
 
I really believe when my mind is "weak".. TV and books etc are very overwhelming and can lead my mind in places I don't want to go....  Plant the seed so to speak....  And then it just goes wild from there... It's like when I was pregnant and watched something about psychosis during pregnancy... that was another worry... but aren't they really just thoughts??  Yes they are.... it's how we deal with them that I got to keep working on...
 
Thanks again...
15 years ago 0 778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello DM , im so sorry to see that you are feeling bad atm . Will echo what Miki wrote about you being a great person and so kind and helpful to all of us . Its hard to see that you are feeling bad because you are usually sounding so strong . But we are human , and you are a hard working mummy .
 
OK im going to sound flipping stupid now  , i thought OCD  was a condition that people had to do things in repetion . You  flick a light switch like a zillion times because they think something  bad  might happen . Im sure a programme i watched many moons ago they were showing people doing things like that .
 
As for the thoughts on religion , i am a believer but i sometimes have thoughts doubting it and confuse myself !! I think i also i told you once that sometimes i have horrible horrible thoughts just pop into my head that scares the hell out of me and make me think im sick . Thankfully not very often . I have a great imagination too , like if im out i sometimes think what if i walked into the road . Just silly things like that . Im better at shrugging it off now . 
 
Damn im off point again sorry . You may know that its just a setback but it dosnt make it feel any better does it . I had a setback a few weeks ago . It would have been easy to freak out big time but because of you and others . I didnt . Still felt like carp mind you but i got through it .
 
Hope you feel better tommorrow , or if it is a case of a really bad time of the month . Because i find that every so often that you get a really horrid one .
 
Take care DM thinking of you

15 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Dazed Mommy,
 
Time to challenge those thoughts! Use the 10 questions if it helps.
 
Likely, your down spell likely is partially to blame in relation to the monthly timing. PMS often brings about some extra anxiety.
 
If you haven't been following through with the program, there is no time like the present to start. 
 
Don't get too down on yourself, there are brighter days ahead!
 
 

Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 477 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi DazedMommy,
I'm really sorry that you have to feel this way. I have a tendency to go in spiral obsessive thinking myself when the days are really bad, and the hormones are going crazy or even when the sun is hiding behind the clouds. 
 
Us agnostics have the most difficulty because we are not sure if we should believe in the religion or not... I don't really know how you were brought up but I personally tell myself that if you do the best you can at anything morally, you will get all the great rewards. I think you're a great person from what I know from your posts.. so if there is a heaven, you'd definitely be there. And was there a time when god talked to you? I sometimes wish he would to me.... When I think these thoughts, looking at the mirror sometimes help... because even though a lot is going on in my head, I'm not really doing anything physically... or I tell my husband, "I think I'm going crazy." And he'll tell me I'm not. Maybe those shows are a bit too intense for you right now. I used to LOVE watching the show "Lost" but now, I get so sick watching it... I get really anxious from it.
 
When we are at our high, we want to enjoy life and forget about the problems... that probably is what makes us not want to follow through the program when we are in our good or ok episodes. 

When I was at my low, the relief was just expressing it, and writing what ever is on my mind... and then getting support from you and the rest of the crew.  It will all go away when it will, but until then just keep writing. You are doing ok.
15 years ago 0 313 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey everyone...
 
Ok.. I'm feeling pretty crappy today and VERY disappointed that I feel this way at all...  I do know it has a lot to do with that time of the month (sorry guys) as it could be any moment but still... the thoughts freak me out.
 
I'm not sure if anyone else gets this or if it has more to do with OCD than panic disorder..but my mind picks a topic and just runs off with it..and usually with scary thoughts...  and they are so random... 
 
Okay big deep breath as I don't usually share what my thoughts are (as if voicing them will guaratee they happen)... today they are about religion...  As soon as I woke up the first thought in my head is about church and whether or not I should believe.. and what if I became a fanatic.. or the extreme opposite.. and it just spirals... The fact that I'm not religious (more spiritual) is what makes it even more random...  It can even stem from a show I watch.. ie.  law and order... someone thinks god is talking to them.. and then I'll think what if I become like that???????    It used to be illness...like schizophrenia..  but today it is this..
 
My medication works most of the time and I had recently upped my dose due to my setback in January..but because it was working I never did follow through with the program or counselling...  Now I'm so mad at myself.....  ugh...  
 
I have such an understanding of what is happening and a ton of knowledge but yet when it comes to me and when I personally feel bad... I just don't believe in it ....  I preach it all the time.. and when I feel good I believe it... but when it's my turn to be "out of sorts" it kinda just goes out the window and I wonder if this is what I will be like forever???????????????? Will I be someone who never gets better?? or just progressively gets worse?? 
 
I'm pretty confident this too shall pass and I'll get back on track but today I'm frustrated and feeling anxious..... 2 of my least favourite companions...
 
DM
 
 

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