JayDee
If you look close at all phobias you will see they are all or almost all sub phobias of Agoraphobia which is a fear of not having control of the situation. It manifests itself as a fear of open spaces because that is usually where you have the least control of your surroundings. Other people, noise, street lights and any number of things are not of your doing. But to get control you need some relaxation and coping skills usually in the form of distractions and one simple change to thought patterns. That change is a simple use of two words to replace two words that appear similar but are not. Replace "have to" with "want to". I "want to" gives you control, I "have to" gives the situation control. Do this for a while and the negative "have to" soon translates to "want to" because you do and the fear fades away into the background.
An example. I used to have to take Ativan to go shopping. I would be blotto but could sort of do it even though I would often come home with just the basics and about half what I wanted. I was driving and shopping in a tunnel with only the few feet in front of me important.
One day I got very mad. Mad is a distraction technique as long as it isn't aimed at anyone but yourself. I was sitting in front of the store and couldn't get out of the car. I was almost in tears I wanted to do this but couldn't. I didn't go home. I accepted I had a panic disorder and said what can happen. "I want my damn groceries" (taking control). So head down and playing a mantra in my head "I want to do this" over and over (distraction and positive thought) I got out of the car and entered the store. I stood there blank as I realized the tea was in the far isle. My God, I have to walk that far. No. I don't have to, I can go home or I can get the tea because I want to. Lean on a shopping cart and play the mantra in my head "I want to, I want to". That was the first time I got everything I wanted and went home not upset. Then it hit me.
The fear. Could I do this again, could it be this simple. So next time the Ativan stayed in the car and I did it because I wanted to. And the next time it was easier till I did it without the mantra. This change of thinking has helped with everything. Recently I went for cataract surgery. With only a very minor bit of claustrophobia when my face was covered. I'm actually looking forward to getting the other eye done. Nothing bothers me any more. Everything is just an experience now. Some concern, but no fear. And life got a whole lot better. I'm probably using coping skills still but if I am they are subconscious. And that is okay. Distractions and relaxation skills are okay. This is why they are necessary before CBT. You can't use them even subconscious if you don't have them.
Good luck and remember we are here for support and information anytime you want or need it. The object is to get better.
Davit.