Faryal, Health Educator
Hello everyone - I hope I can find some help here. For most of my life I have had panic attacks, depression and anxiety attacks. 90% of my problem stems from my fear of cancer and doctors. I constantly am looking for and finding signs of cancer in myself - the catch 22 is that I am so terrified of doctors, if I do find a symptom I can't face going to the doctor to get an answer to my concern. I do have a family physician and I see her about once a year - less if I can avoid it. Anything to do with health issues, medical personel, hospitals, cause me to panic. I am presently on two medications - Citalopram - 2 caplets daily and clonazpam, 1 tablet daily. I try to explain my problem to her. I don't think she quite understands how bad it is. If I make an appointment for a checkup I am haunted by it daily, constantly. I do get a mammogram every 2 years - I cannot explain how bad the anticipation of it and waiting for the results are. The thought of having any medical test paralysis me, as I know the result will alway be that I have cancer. My sister suffers the same way. I have never heard of anyone else having this. When I tell someone I'm worried about a health issue, they just tell me to see the doctor...which is the exact thing that causes my panic to increase. I'm sorry I went on so long - I'm just so tired of living in fear all the time.
