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It's so tiring! Please help

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It's so tiring! Please help

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

You are doing great lovine9!

It may be scary to see your progress but it must be nice as well. You are moving forward and like you said gaining valuable skills and knowledge. Remind your self of your progress. Write down what you have learned, irrational thoughts you have become aware of and positive thoughts. Little by little you will lose that scary feeling and become confident that you are managing panic! We are so proud of you. Keep posting and staying strong.

Share your list if you feel comfortable.

Other members add yours! There may be so many things we have accomplished that we are not even aware of.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 24

I can say that I have more "good hours" now. I even had a good day Sunday last week! I try my best to celebrate this good hours. It's so odd- well- ok-- It's kinda funny that most of us with PD becomes anxious because we noticed that we are feeling better-- that we hav emade progress and now we're scared that it might ALL come back. We have to instill in our minds that research shows this is not ths case as we have learned so much and have new tools and sets of skills to help us overcome our PD.

I've been anxious and panicky for the past week -- I think maybe because I've been feeling better and had this fear of regressing. It's been 2 weeks that I haven't had a PA and I'm worried that I'll forget how to handle it and start thinking that there is something medicallt wrong with me again. Well I had a "biggie" yesterday and the day before-- there was an earthquake 2 days ago and I am on the 20th Floor!! and then yesterday I felt like there was an earthwuake (but there was none) so I had a biggie again! Thankfully my PA only lasted for 30 minutes and 10 minutes respectively and then it subsided and I didn't regress!

I attribute my progress mainly to my faith in God. This is the most important thing for me.

With work.... it does get better

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Great advice Houston.

How are you doing since you last posted lovine? It is good to hear that the cloud has disappeared and you are ready to continue on your journey. In the meantime, continue to practice the tools and strategies we have talked about here. Practicing them now is a great way to become comfortable and confident with these skills so that you can continue to use them in the future.

Stay close to the boards and let us know how you are coping, we are here for you whenever you need us.

Sarah, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

Iovine,

I wanted to resond to your question about setbacks. Every setback is different. Some feel mild, and some feel like they have come back with a vengeance. While you're going through it, it may feel as bad as the first time. This is because you are in the middle of it and your memory of the worst one may have faded.

However, I can tell you, that once you've found your way out, your recovery is faster after setbacks. Just this weekend I had the same feelings that you describe below. I felt alone, desperate, and hopeless. Yet, I persevered, told myself that I would cling to whatever hope I could muster, and wait for tomorow. It is now Wednesday, and already I feel better. So, in 3 days, I got back to a point that took me weeks when I first had a PA. As a matter of fact, I felt so good, that I decided to drink a Coca-cola. This was a bad idea since it made me a bit anxious, but at least I can laugh it off today.

One of the things that I did was to resume my routine - shower, get dressed, go to work, eat my meals, keep my appointments, go to my kid's functions, etc. It was extremely difficult to do this. Just thinking about it gave me terrible anxiety the night before and the morning of. However, by resuming my routine, I was better with every step. I wanted nothing more than to call in sick and stay home, but that would have made me feel worse. That first step is the hardest. But, it is necessary to recapture your confidence and to have the anxiety diminish.

Sometimes, you have to take it on faith alone. This weekend, I could not imagine feeling better, so I had to take it on faith (and experience) that I would come out my funk. Yes, the possibility of a relapse is there, but you now know that 1) there is a way out of it; and 2) you have gotten out of it before. So, work on building your confidence so when a setback hits, you are better armed to deal with it.

It sounds like you've had rough patches where you think that you're going to end it all. You need to talk to someone if you are having those feelings. It may very well be that you're upset because you don't want to hurt yourself, but the lingering thought is so upsetting and seemingly unshakable that you almost start to believe that there is some truth behind it. Either way, make sure that you talk to someone.

God bless, and hang in there.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 24

Thanks Caden-

My PD started March 16 and I would constantly be fearful all day long and I've lost count alrady how many PAs I will have in a day-- it felt awful! I tired my best not to avoid anything but I fell into depression and just didnt feel like doing anything. I would still go to work but it felt so tiring.

Now, I have more good hours or sometime a good day! I dont feel depressed anymore and can laugh again. I think Im at that stage already where I now become anxious about setbacks and relapse. I'm still so scared about how I felt last month that I was afraid I will kill myself!--and I don't want to go through all of that again. I guess that's why Ive been asking you these quuestions.

I'm not still well by all means but Im thankful that the "cloud over things" has disappeared and Im hopeful that it wont come back. If it does, Im also hopeful that the things and tools I've learned will come in handy and hopeful I wont go down the road of depression again.

Telling me that that setbacks are more manageable for you gives me encouragement.

Thanks,

Lovine8

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Hi Ya lovine9:

You know what each person's recovery time is different. If I were to put a time limit to it then that would just be adding more anxiety/panic to you. You would be saying to yourself I should be better by now if Caden said she did it in this amount of time. What I can tell you is that you have to persevere, the only way to overcome your fears is to confront them gradually until they diminish bit by bit & then finally you defeat them.

As for setbacks you survive them by knowing you have been through this before & it will pass. I can only speak for myself but the setbacks are more manageable because they are not of the same intensity and are fewer. Instead of getting 5 - 6 a day I maybe get one when I'm really stressed out. Keep in mind the techniques such as deep breathing, self-talk and incorporating relaxation into your daily life.

I know it's hard to believe at this point but it does get better. I can tell you this truthfully because I had a severe case PD and overcame my fears.

I hope gives you some encouragement.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

lovine,

Glad to hear you have found the support helpful.

Those are great questions for the other members! Can anyone else share their experience with setbacks or panic attacks? What has this journey been like for you?

Sarah, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 24

Thank you all for your inputs. These things help so much.

Caden - When did you have your first PA and how long before you improved or finally thought " oh I just might be able to beat this or manage this"?

Houston and Caden - How did you survive your first setback? your 2nd? Is it worse than the first wave of PA/PD? Is it more manageable the 2nd or third time or does it feel like its back with a vengeance?

I hope to hear back from you again.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

Thanks Caden & thanks Ashley. Y'all are sweethearts.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Hi Ya Houston:

I think Ashley said it all, set backs are normal. Goodness knows I've had quite a few. I used to define myself solely as a Panic Disorder victim , battling one pa after the other and wondering when the next one would come. Then I went back to school for academic up-grading & boy ti was gruelling, college english was brutal a lot of hard work, my final mark was A-. In Career Path I had to do a final presentation & I chose to do it in Powerpoint which I knew nothing about, so I trained myself and you know what I got 100%. The point I am trying to make is not only what I achieved but by challenging myself and not giving up I now saw myself as more than a PD victim, I was much more. When you let the pd define who you are as a person that's when you're world revolves around the disorder, but you know what if I can overcome a severe disorder you can too. You are much more than a pa victim, just think about that.

I remember what my psychotherapist said to me every time I would complain about having another pa, he said how many have you had. I would reply in total about 60-70, he said and you survived them didn't you, so you will survive the next one if it comes although it's unpleasant at the time and you know he was right we do survive them.

I used to think I was a failure for having set backs. But you know what I used to get at least 5-6 a day, now if I''m really stressed I get one in a blue moon shall we say. I have underestimated my strength both in overcoming this disorder and being able to complete school with high marks.

Just try not to be so hard on yourself if you do have a set back & know that you are not alone. Others have been in the same place and have recovered, it just takes time and perserverence.

You will get through this and to quote Diva.

"This too shall pass"

Hope this helps.

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It's so tiring! Please help