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Which goal/fear to target for my exposure plan

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Which goal/fear to target for my exposure plan

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

Thanks Sunny. I love the idea of visualization. I've actually tried doing that a few times at home with one of those guided relaxation tapes, but never really in an anxious situation, so I like that idea. And these are always "imagine yourself in a safe place, like a beach, your bed, etc" instead of "imagine yourself in an anxious situation but where you feel relaxed." When I think about it, I actually do some visualization but always in a negative way. Like I'll think about being in the office, the train, etc, and start getting anxious about it--psyching myself out really. But if I can turn that around I think that'd be a really big help.

Related to this, I think a big problem that I've been having--and I forget the technical term for this--is not being able to build on these positive experiences and successful exposure practices. For example, we had a meeting yesterday, and I got through this, albeit it feeling fairly anxious, but at the end I find myself thinking, "phew! I'm so glad I got out of there intact! That was really hard and I don't know if I'll be able to repeat that next time" instead of "of course I did this. I've done it dozens of times and will do it dozens of times more." I think this is really going to be the hardest part of my exposure practice, and if anyone has any ideas or advice I'd love to hear.

Thanks so much everyone. It's great to know I'm not alone.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Levi: Welcome. Ever tried visualization? You know even athletes use it to visualize their success. They train physically and they train mentally. Can you visualize yourself entering the office successfully, sitting down at your desk happily, getting on with your work in a positive frame of mind? Before doing something which I find emotionally challenging I use this technique to "practice" in my mind. I look at all things I may encounter and how I would deal with them. I practice this every day for 5-10 minutes. Don't forget the box breathing, or a time out during office hours. Where can you go to relax? Is there a lounge where you can have a glass of water, cup of tea. Can you go for a short walk around the block? That sort of thing. When you become anxious perhaps you can find your relaxation spot and get grounded again with some box breathing and positive self-talk.

Just some ideas.

Your friend, Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Levi.

Exposure is not about suffering it is about bringing about a situation so you can use your relaxation and coping skills to handle it. The repitition is so you will do them automatic and subconscious when needed. It is about learning to focus on the positive instead of the negative.

The mantra that I mentioned is a coping skill. Another is distractions. You will learn to build coping skills by doing exposure and seeing what works.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

Thanks! That's a really good question. I'm not sure if my next step should be to focus on some exposure work around the office or if I should do some stuff on a bus or train. If I'm at the office all day, though, I'm not sure what I can be doing for exposure though. Maybe focusing on a conference room/meeting simulation where I have higher anxiety? If other people have some tips or their own experiences I'd love to get some feedback.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Levi

If you look at agoraphobia as being a fear of not having control of the situation rather than the old definition of it being a fear of open spaces you will see that almost every thing, even claustrophobia falls under it. Also if you look at most phobias they boil down to you not having control. Take busses. The difference between a bus and a car is that you have no say in it. Now to a certain extent a car on the freeway is similar. You have limited say. You can add this to shopping, being at work, living in an apartment. Most everything and even your own home if you let it get out of hand. The answer is rather simple really but hard to put in practice, therefore the need for exposure. The answer is to say to every situation "it is my decision". This puts you back in control. What about the bus? You still don't get to drive! It doesn't matter if you say "it is my decision to take this bus" and It is my decision to stay on it rather than get off and run screaming. The same as your decision to walk to work. You can do it because it is your decision and you are the one in control.

Does this make sense. Farther down the road you will get into core beliefs and other reasons why you have Agoraphobia but for now knowing this one simple thing about having control can give you a lot of relief. Especially if you use those four words for a mantra.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Sounds like you have a start of a plan Levi!

Great work! What are your next steps?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

Thanks everyone, that's great advice.

Re: Davit. You're right that all my fears related to agoraphobia. This is actually something I semi-recently realized-or rather, admitted to myself--instead of just thinking of myself as claustrophobic. I think picking one I deal with the most is a great idea. I've been pretty lucky that I live only a 5 minute walk from work so I don't actually take the train or bus to work, so maybe working on one of those wouldn't be the most relevant.

One idea I did have was to do something related to being in an office--something that's a constant source of anxiety for me, and which I think if I could change would go a long way towards my happiness. Regularly I feel about a 30-40 when just sitting at my desk at work, but if I'm in a meeting this might go up to 60 or 70. Any ideas about something to do related to anxiety at the office? The only thing giving me pause about doing this for exposure work is that I basically do exposure work every day for 8 hours de facto just coming into work, so I'm not sure what to do different behavior-wise. Or maybe I should stick to something like a bus or train as practice?

Re: Ashley, that's a really good question. The simple answer is I want to do exposure work to stop feeling so damn anxious all the time. I can think of dozens of situations I'd like to reduce my anxiety in. But maybe if I'm being more specific, I'd like to reduce this the most at the office since I spend the most time here, and when I get home and think about doing something else that would produce some anxiety--like going to a restaurant with a friend--I'm often too mentally exhausted from a day's worth of exposure work.

Thanks everyone. This is my first foray into the forum and really appreciating the feedback and supportive community so far.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Hi Levi,

Davit offers you some great advice. To add to what he said and to get you thinking, what do you want to do exposure work for?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Welcome. LeviW

You will note that a lot of your fears are related, bus, train, plane. What you may not know is that most of these are agoraphobia. Now if you understand agoraphobia you will realize that you really only have to do successful exposure to one to cover all of them. Pick the one that scares you the most but also the one that you have to deal with the most often. But don't aim too high, this is not "no pain no gain" It is conditioning so you want it to be noticeable but not terrifying. You also don't want it to be a cake walk.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

Hey everyone,

I've just started Chapter 4 on Exposure and am working towards creating an exposure plan for my homework. My one big problem though is that I can think of quite a few different fears/exposure plans to come up with. Just looking at the sample ones I could do a bunch of them--buses, trains, concert/sporting event, movie, airplanes, etc--so I'm not really sure where to start. The sample dog fear is a great example but much more targeted and specific than my own fear. Working backwards and identifying something that would get a 100 on the fear rating scale, I can think of quite a few, so does anyone have any advice for choosing between these? I want to choose something achievable that I can work towards in the next several weeks, but also don't want to set the bar too low.

Thanks

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Which goal/fear to target for my exposure plan