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when others are uncomfortable with your quit


18 years ago 0 254 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
thanks, folks..... I AM dreading going up there because I have to stay with Pops. In fact, he is the main reason I'll be up there - we are putting Mom into a nursing home and he needs the support. So, I'll be there with him, I think I'll just sit quiet and if he needs to make a comment, so be it. sticks and stones and all that. i think deep down what i'm really dreading are the huge triggers all over again. so far, i've been able to stay far far away from smokers. ah well. no sense worrying over something coming in 6 weeks. I have enough to contend with here! Going golfing today (dontcha love Florida in the winter???) with some friends who DO smoke. First test around smokers! [img]http://www.websmileys.com/sm/smoking/rauch03.gif[/img] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 48 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 725 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $324 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
18 years ago 0 254 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Any tips on how to deal with family who still smoke, yet are afraid of your quit? I am going home in a few months to visit, and several of my close relatives (dad, for one) smoke. Dad has made a few offhand comments when we chat on the phone, like when i told him i was going to quit, he said to me "fine, just don't advertise it to everyone - i didn't tell the world when i quit drinking [img]http://www.websmileys.com/sm/fam/fam05.gif[/img] I have to stay with him when i go home in march. and i am dreading it. i would appreciate any feedback from folks who are dealing, or have dealt with this before.... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 47 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 718 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $317.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3
18 years ago 0 1079 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The one thing I noticed as I read your post was the fact that you may not be getting the acknowledgement of the hard work and determination you deserve. I know how important family praise and acceptance can be. No matter how old we are.I have not even had a chance to tell my Dad yet, because we talk so rarely, but I know the support would not be there. That would be hurtful, so I will avoid telling him for quite awhile. We don't need people around who will lessen the value of what we have done. I'm not sure if this may or not be some of your misgivings about going home, but if so, use this time ahead to really know just how great you have done! [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 837 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $282.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
18 years ago 0 211 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Remember this. Your quit is a threat to those who still smoke. Why is that? Because they know that you are doing what they haven't been able to do so far. I'm 55 yrs old and I can tell you that among all the smokers I've known in the past 5 yrs., all have said at some time that they wish they could quit. Of course we were talking to each other as we smoked, but just commenting on how bad this addiction is. When I first quit, I had those who encouraged me and those who tried to discourage me. Just the other day when someone heard me replying on how long I've been smoke free, their comment was "just wait till you start gaining weight, then you'll smoke again". I looked at them and said I'd rather be 10 lbs. heavier than have to wear a 10 lb. tank of oxygen around with me for the rest of my life. They had no answer to that. You keep your quit. You are doing great and should be proud. vicki just 1 puff away from 2 packs a day [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 111 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,450 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $777 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
18 years ago 0 682 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just take a whiff at how they smell and remember what momma always says... If you can't think of something nice to say...don't say anything at all. Believe it or not your Pop really is proud of you and wishes he could do the same thing. You might just be the inspiration one of those friends or family members needs Good luck and enjoy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 10 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 206 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $35.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55
18 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Groovekitty, When I first quit, I had a roommate who did not support my quit at all, so I can relate. She never wanted me to talk about it, as I think she felt that her addiction was being threatened by my quitting. This is VERY common when one person quits. Smoking is an addiction... as such, people are very fearful when people close to them quit. Smoking has become an "us versus them" thing. Since many non-smokers shun smokers, smokers are drawn to each other. So, when one of the clan quits, the rest of the smokers feel that that person has abandoned them and gone to the dark side. I think the best thing to do is keep your quit, but not really announce it. If someone asks, by all means, tell them that you have quit. And if someone offers you a cigarette, politely say "no". I know that this can be a very tough situation to get through when everyone around you smokes, but since you have a few months to prepare for this, take this time to make a plan. Plan what you will do when those around you are smoking... either take a walk, or sit with them without smoking if you think you're strong enough to do that. This is going to be a tough challenge to get through, but I'm sure you'll do fine! Congratulations on 47 days. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/littlebutterfly2.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 99 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,496 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $326.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27
18 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Groovekitty, It's your quit, so be proud! Only you know the relationship you have with your family. Keep it quiet or announce it to the world :) Take the time to prepare for the pressure and distract yourself if it gets to tight. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and 47 days is closer to living a longer life than ever before. Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.

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