hi lady, I know how it feels.. I am am prone to sponge others' moods and even be influenced by emotional "manipulations". Thanks for your input.

Wildcat, I thought Session 3 was great. I printed out the sheets and actually tried to fill them out every day. I made 4 out of 7 so I guess that isn't too bad. Even though I didn't fill out the sheets I was more conscious of how I react to things and what my role is. I have a tendency to go off the deep end with each conversation to certain people. I have a tendency to also allow others to alter my current mood. Writing down what I thought and how I felt and then destinquishing the difference between what was a thought and what was a feeling was good for me. Controlling what I think helps to control what I feel. That is what I have found. I have not moved on to the next session yet but it is supose to create more understanding from what I've read thus far. Lady

that's why I was looking for someone to do homework on the forum with... I started saturday in the other section ... please let me know what you guys understood with session 3 and how you tacked each section of the session... thank you

Isn't it amazing how desparete we are to get out of that dark pit and to get back to normal but yet are hesitant and can't seem to find the courage to work the program as it is outlined here? I think it's totally amazing and a perfect example of how devistating depression really is.

Hey, I've not done the homework either. I keep thinking about it but I am afraid. If I could only click on it, maybe I could get something going.

so gabs was it really a big mistake?

Some really good questions here Gabs.

thanks wildcat and lady, whew, havent done any homework and had hoped to start session 3. Will start tonight when i have had a rest. Think I need to phone my Dad and appologise for my outrage this morning, iknow i wont feel better until i have spoken to him and feel calm now to do it. I know he will also be upset that he upset me even though it was over something that i have continuously asked him not to mention. My son has also spoken to my brother who very very reluctantly agreed to take charge of my fathers finances until i am strong enough although no understanding on his part, but i dont need him to understand just be prepared to share the load of my poor old disabled father. I guess I just took on the role after my mother died and no one has questioned it and why would they? Well now I cant push his wheelchair so my brother or his wife will have to help with hospital visits etc even if they do it grudgingly. My father knows that I love him and not negleting him because i choose too. He loves me unconditionally but also relies on me heavily, it will be ineresting to see if my brother even offers to do something for Dads birthday next week as I have always had all the family to me. Also Christmas, my Dad moves in for a month but he wouldnt go anywhere else and I wouldnt want him too. It will ust be interesting to see if my brother and his wife even offer. He is my baby brother by 5 years so I have always looked out for him too. Funny how life dictates from a young age who leans on who in familys. Seems to me that reading a lot of the posts it is some of the strongest most intelligent people who end up in this depression spiral. Do we take too much on? Do we ask too much of ourselves? Do we delegate enough? Are we invisible? Do we expect people to guess when we need help and for some reason not ask for it until we cannot cope anymore? Is this eldest child syndrome? Its my son who has stepped up, again the eldest child, My daughter who is bright, charming, sensitive who cares deeply for all, remembers everyones birthday etc. is still taking the lead from her brother and by golly is she one strong opinionated cookie. My husband is the youngest of 3, two older sisters so is still at 58 considered to be the baby of his family, is that why he thinks i should always take care of him? so many questions. Time to call Dad. X

Hi Gabs, good for you. You took a drastic measure, but with very good results. One you family is now going to understand this is an illness you are suffering from. Your son see the need to educate himself and your family. You have realised that you are not alone. You can lean on other ADULTS and expect them to support you. You are entering into new relationships with equals!

Gabs, One step at a time and one day at a time. I am not married and my kids are still young. Be thankful for your husband and son. Putting my perspective in order often helps me, even though most of the time I don't want to admit that is true. Inside of you is a strong, warm, loving person that does for others as well as takes care of herself. Search for her and let her out. I realized last week that for the last year my life has focused around my depression and not my kids and my life. I want my life back. I'm digging deep to find that strong woman inside of me. You know, the one who is able to set the anger and the emotions aside. The one who can cope with whatever may come her way. Support is very important to me as well but don't dwell on the lack of it because it will make your illness worse. Focus on things you can control. We cannot choose how others behave but we can choose how we react to them. I hope this helps in some way. Lady