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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Miakoda ... good for you! Now you can share all the details so us folks who have no life can live vicariously through you. ;) Getting out and about is a bold and courageous step. Obviously you are one of those people determined not to wallow in the misery. That's a huge advantage!! I have a whole lot of respect for people who do that. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/JR_Sandy/forum%20stuff/highfive-1.gif[/IMG]

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

That sounds like a wonderful idea -- congratulations on your first step! Have a lovely weekend :)

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 21

Hey thanks I feel a bit better now. It's true that he [i]will[/i] do what makes him feel better. I guess there really is no sense in sticking around "incase" of a phone call. There's a community center that's having a late holiday party tomorrow night with the good old "quebecois" folk music and a buffet. Tickets are only 12$, so maybe I'll give it a try. It's a step in a whole new direction of..... "just for me!"

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Confused offers good advice ... making a start toward something positive can go a long way toward restoring hope. And now you have all of us, Miakoda ... We may all be on leave from the acorn academy, but at least we understand one another. :) For me, there are times when I just have to [b]make[/b] myself do something. It's almost impossible when I'm not on my meds, so I get that, but if you can force yourself to post here, start the sessions, perhaps join in the chat if anyone is around, you may feel less hopeless and alone. Another thing that helps me is humour. When I'm really a mess, I go to some of the sites I have bookmarked that make me laugh. It never fails to help. Sounds silly and simple, but it does work for me. I'm always searching out new online places to drag a smile out of me ... and since I don't mind the raunchy stuff, there are tons. Might be worth a try?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Why don't you use the weekend to get a good start on this program? Capture a few of those wild thoughts that are flying around in your head. You'll also be asked to identify some pleasant activities. A question that I've found helps me (when I remember before I succumb to the avoidance and blocking activity) is simply: what's one thing I can do this weekend that will make me feel a bit better? And then do it. You've put the wheels in motion to get some outside help next week, so devote the weekend entirely to feel-good stuff. If you can, put thoughts of the bf into a box in your mind, lock it and put it aside. He's going to do what he will, regardless of whether or not you're thinking of him -- you have no control over that, so put it aside (easier said than done, granted). And yes, that's how moms are. She loves you and worries about you, and will drive you nuts for the rest of her life. And when she's worried about you, she'll try very hard to remember that you're grown up, but you'll always be her little girl. Be kind to yourself.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 21

Well, as for friends, no I really don't have any. Friends were friends of BF's. As for family, I've got my parents, but I'm not that close to them to talk to about certain things. They've invited me over to spend the night or have supper with them, but I really don't want to because my mom can get to be a little bit annoying. She tries to pry, and wants to know everything, she treats me like Im still in my teens, although Im 39! But I guess thats how moms are, I wouldn't know, I've got no kids. I've managed to communicate with a crisis center, and they're trying to get me an appointment a.s.a.p with a psychiatrist. Hopefully I won't have to wait 3-4 months this way. I've also got an appointment next friday with a private psychologist. Praying that BF, has not taken me off of his private insurance. I'm trying like heck to keep myself busy, but things keep playing over in my head. I'm definalty not looking forward to the weekend. I know I'll still be sitting here waiting for a phone call from him, at least hoping to have some type of closure.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Hi Miakoda, and welcome Sounds like you're in a really tough space. Do you have family and/or friends around to give you some support and a shoulder? It may well be the best thing for you at this point that your boyfriend is out of the picture, as it gives you a chance to find your own strength (how's that for finding a silver lining in the midst of a thunderstorm?). Too often, I think, we look for a partner to help us define who we are or to help us to feel more whole. But the really great relationships that I've observed have been with two people who have a pretty good sense of who they are as individuals first, and then as a couple. You've come out of a 17 year marriage and then a 2 year relationship -- take some time now to get acquainted with yourself again. This program is really helpful in that sense. It is hard to keep motivated at times, particularly if you're working through it on your own, but the group here is very supportive so ask, tell, complain, cheer... we're with you. Here's to making 2008 better than 2007, and hoping that you'll be able to find some happy moments again.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Welcome Miakoda. Wow, you've got yourself a full plate. I've been overwhelmed by life before too, and it sucks. I find myself getting into that terrible mindset where it feels like things will never change ... or if they do, it's for the worse. I dunno what helps you, but I take it one day (sometimes one minute) and one problem at a time. I'm OCD so making lists helps me. Seeing it written down kind of makes me feel like I have some thread of control. LOL ... at least my OCD serves me in some way. Mostly it adds problems but in this case it helps. Relationships are hard and it does take someone pretty special to cope with us depressed folks. It took me until I was 42 to truly fall in love (although I had a zillion reltionships before this) so don't lose hope. In looking back, my depression sort of weeded out anyone who wasn't loving, patient and giving. I've battled depression my entire life. Like since I was a child ... I was on tranq's when I was 4 years old. I've had a fair amount of therapy, mostly the same brand as offered here in the sessions (CBT) and I am a true believer in the power of that kind of healing. It really does work. I'm having a hell of a time getting through the sessions since I'm more interested in posting and getting to know folks than in doing my work, but I know the more I do the better I'll feel. I hope it works for you too! Thanks for sharing about yourself. You've found a safe place to do that and sometimes that is enough to get you through a bad moment. Again, welcome!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Welcome Miakoda! Thank you for taking the time to tell us a little about yourself. We encourage you to begin familiarizing yourself with the tools of the program. You may also benefit from reading through the many discussions on the forums. Don't be afraid to join in or ask questions. We hope to hear from you again soon. Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Welcome Miakoda, sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time right now. Hang in there...I know it seems overwhelming sometimes, but you'll find lots of supportive people here who understand. If your boyfriend is not prepared to support you while you get better, than maybe it's for the best. Take the time to take care of yourself and I'm sure one day you will find someone who appreciates you, imperfections and all, whether that's your old boyfriend or someone new... Hopefully the new meds will help get you back on track. Keep us posted! Lovelybones

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