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Communication with family and friends

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

eleveno

Yes trying to explain how you are to family and friends is frustrating. I have found friends to be more tolerant. I gave up on trying to explain to my brother because he refuses to accept it therefore he can't understand it. To him it is a defect and we can not possibly have a defect in our family. He is not stupid he just won't accept that something has been ruling me rather than me ruling it. Friends are more tolerant and sympathetic because it doesn't reflect on them. To them I am just sick and since I also have a chronic disease they just think it is a side effect. I am very lucky to have a close personal friend who has gone through it also and understands me. I also have friends who know some one else with anxiety issues.

Now for me since I am a bit of a loaner and retired I don't have to deal with people who don't understand. Over the years I have built a limited number of friends that understand and the rest I keep it from. In a way it might be better to keep it to yourself since you will become better and I'm not sure if you will want people to think of you this way when you are better. If support is what you are looking for then the site is definitely the best place to come for it.

The hardest is having a partner who doesn't understand and I have been there. I don't know what the answer is there. If they want to understand they will try, if not they won't.

Very frustrating I agree and each of us has to find our own way. The important thing to remember is that you will get better so now is temporary.

Davit

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

From my experience communicating about mental health with family and friends could be very frustrating, and in my opinion is an waste of time. It is better to share our anxiety and depression thoughts with people who understand it like here on this forums or an adequate therapist.

The best thing to do is for us is to help ourselves to get better so we have healthier relationships with family and friends.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

I agree with most of what has been posted. I find that people who have never experienced these things don't really understand (even though, like Maggie, my boyfriend says he does and I know he tries to). I find myself now drawn to people who have had these problems because it's easy to relate to them.

I like going to my therapist because she is one of the few people I feel like I can really talk to about this without feeling like defective.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Hi T,

Well, I have similar situation my husband says he understands but I don't think he does. I see he does not have much patience with me and I feel I can't talk to him when I am feeling anxious it makes me worse. It is very hard for me. I keep all my thought to myself. I am extremely convinced that the only people who can understand this is someone who has anxiety as well. That is why when I have a question, concern or only want to vent I come to this site.

Educate yourself the best that you can with anxiety and you will see you will be fine. Now if someone asks me how are you Maggie I say I'm great. No need to explain they can't understand. I have really learned a lot and trust me T it's not easy but you can do it. It's all in what you tell yourself.

Blessings to you

Maggie

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi TR: It will always be difficult for others to understand what you are going through. This is the same for any problem whether it is anxiety or not. I would like to make a suggestion - it is not so much to change your family's views as it is to educate them - and yourself too, about the anxiety disorders. Perhaps you could ask them to read a booklet on the anxiety disorder and you could discuss it. And also you could ask for their patience and understanding while you are struggling and finding your way through this. Doing stress management together is a great way to share. Everyone needs some stress management. Hope these ideas can help.

Your friend, Sunny

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

You can't "make" people change, and if they're irrational or uneducated or close-minded or dismissive, I'd just keep it private and share it with a few close friends who understand

Just realize that this "stigma" is still not uncommon, although it is unlawful to discriminate in the workplace

Go easy on yourself, and be realistic.

"Canadian Guy" is now in the hospital, and did something unique when he tried to explain to a work colleague his panic attacks, by using an analogy of insulin, and that helped him.

We all have our imperfections

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Hi ti... Josie is right on with her recommendations. I just would like to add that for me....

I gave up trying to explain my mental health "issues" to family members. They know I have problems and am seeking help both with a doc and at this site. That is all I tell them anymore. In the early stages of getting help, trying to explain to them just made me feel worthless and hopeless and stupid. I come here for support now and while my family members are clueless how much work it is and how much I struggle.... they are beginning to see the results and are happy for me.

In the long run, it has proven better for me to have that separation from them with regards to my mental health work. When I was trying to get them to understand, we all kind of treated my like I was "sick" and worthless. Not involving them in the process leaves room for healthier relationships ... more on equal ground.

I'm not explaining very well and maybe this isn't the healthiest way to manage. I just needed to get stabilized and feel grounded within myself before I could work on family relationships in a healthy way. It feels lonely at first, but it helps to come here and get support from ppl who won't judge and do, indeed, "get it".

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

ti,

Try the section on what causes panic attacks. There is some great knowledge here and it may help clear a few things for your family http://www.paniccenter.net/CM/EducationCMStaticPage.aspx?pageid=Education_3 . The important issue at hand is that you are being proactive about this and trying to progress through this.

You are doing the right thing to help yourself and sometimes others question what they don't know.

Stay strong in your focus,

Come here for support

Knowledge is power

Josie, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

How do people generally explain their panic attacks and general high anxiety to their family members and friends. My mother is the one I have been talking too mainly about what is going on but I am finding it difficult and somewhat frustrating to properly convey how I am feeling. It feels as thoughts he believes that I am simply "sitting in" these feelings and allowing them to envelop me where as I believe I am trying to understand what is causing them in the first place and how I can deal with them head on as opposed to trying to live life in ignorance.

I guess I am just frustrated, I don't seem to have fully convinced myself I am doing the right things to help myself and when others question what I am doing it seems to make things worse for me. I want to make the people in my life understand that I can't keep simply avoiding these feelings by "keeping busy" with other distractions.

In summary my family thinks I have allowed my anxiety envelope myself and that I need to move on and find other areas of my life to concentrate on in as a distraction.

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Communication with family and friends