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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Red,

I took my first yoga course yesterday, and needed it badly after a windstorm, which we're still wound up about.

It's funny when someone needs to tell me to breathe, since during exercise, and even in everyday life, we hold our breath.

I laughed to myself, wondering if my lips were turning blue, as the instructor cued us to watch breathing

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hugs,

Thank you for the words of wisdom and reminder this morning and most of all thank you for being here...

Red...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Red,

Anxiety is anticipation holding it's breath...so keeping breathing

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Feeling more anxious as the time grows nearer..This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do..I am really tired now and think I just might be relieved when this part is over..that way I can start to move forward again..

Red...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Ashley,

Thanks for the pat on the back today. As for being present..Yesterday on the way home from the doctors we decided to stop and have dinner at a really nice restaurant to unwind and rewards ourselves for all the hard work that we have done so far..It felt really good and by the time I got home I had let loose lose of the negative thoughts and had a very nice evening..

I have more rewards planned for today..So it should be a very good day..but before I sign out for today I am going to start a thread where we can post our accomplishments and rewards..a place where we can post about the positive in our lives.

Talk to you soon..

Red....

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Red,

Thanks for updating us. It sounds like everything is going as smoothly as it can thanks to your positive thinking. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing now so good work! Be present for a moment to that. You are so strong.

I hope you enjoy and take comfort in your tasks around the house today.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Thank you Ashley, Vincenza, and Hugs for taking the time to write and let me know you are thinking of me..This support may seem like a little thing to someone else but to me it is quite Big and your support really does make a different a huge difference for me and it makes me stronger..

Speaking of little things..Yesterday was a pretty normal day for me and I enjoyed doing the little things around the house, like doing my laundry so I could get ready for my afternoon Dr. appointment. I took comfort in these tasks and the normalcy of it all..Who would think that doing laundry would bring such comfort..

The afternoon was a challenge for me with the Dr. appointment it was a very late appointment..She is a bit of a alarmist and did scarce me a bit saying there should be a vascular surgeon on call if problems arise during my surgery..We meaning all of us the doctors and I know that my surgery will be a challenge because of the location of the mass in my kidney. It is not going to be a easy one. I told her I had confidence in my surgeon that it would be ok..Even so she did get me to worrying. She also wanted to know if he was sending me over to oncology which means to the cancer doctors. I told her no not yet their is a 20% chance that is not cancer and we will not know for sure until after surgery and the pathology report comes in. She said that was a very positive way of looking at it. The one good thing she did say was that she felt if need be that I could live for many years with my one very good kidney..So that was good news.

I have to tell you this was a very challenging afternoon and I am sure that everything that I have learned here on the site has helped me to get though all of this..Working the cbt program here has really helped me challenge the negative thoughts that have been thrown my way. It is a challenge every day and yes there will be many more challenges ahead..I guess what I am trying to say is that working an doing cbt is a ongoing process and that no it will not make the negative things that come up in life not happen because that is life, negatives do happen to everyone at sometime, but what cbt does do is give you the tools to challenge your negative thoughts about these situations so that you can move forward in a positive direction..

Anyway today I am going to focus on doing some normal things around the house. I really love all those little things now..

Thats about it for now. Thanks for listening and for responding and letting me know you that you care and that you are here and listening.

Red...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Thinking of you Red.

Mixed feelings is normal. Just continue to be as positive as you can and prepare mentally in which ever way you feel is important to you.

We are all here with you.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

The Final Count down.

14 days and counting...

Red...

Mixed feelings...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hugs

Thanks, we have our fingers crossed too.

Things do change as we age and once we accept some of these changes it makes it some much easier to move on and enjoy our lifes

Red..

ps..Good luck with the taxes..

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