as part of my other panic control program, i was instructed to write down exactly what would happen to me as i started getting a panic attack and what would happen if the worst did indeed happen. this is what i wrote without thinking about it
walk into a room, feel dehydrated, dry mouth
hands are sweating, shifting eyes back and forth
"did anyone notice?"
feel a lump in my throat, feel hot, claustrophobic
start to get fidgetty, feeling embarrassed, people are looking at me?
headaches, trying to breathe, not enough oxygen in lungs
start taking deep breaths...no avail
heart pumping, measure pulse, i'm sure people are looking
my hearts about to explode, visualize me screaming, lights too bright!
i want to scream, i can't, i'm embarrassed.
stop breathing, fall over people making a fuss. Embarrassed
I'm in pain, going to die, my brain is melting
clutch my chest, try to breathe, heart hurting
lost control, people laughing, feeling bad for me
now, for me it is the same thing everytime. except, i dont fall over, or lose control or die, in fact no one even notices me being anxious. it would seem my trigger is being publically embarrassed or humiliated and the fact that i try and stop myself from feeling anxious in fact makes me more anxious.
anyway, rant over.
SH
