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Invasive Thoughts

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Love and hate are flip sides of the same coin, sometimes it just lands the wrong way up. Sometimes love has a lot to do with why a person hates. Sometimes a person loves themselves so much they hate what they are doing to themselves or hate themselves for doing it. Does it surprise you that much that you could love yourself. I never thought I could love myself because of a core belief. Been there, had to deal with the self anger too, still doing a bit but getting better.

Never in my wildest imagination could I hate the person (you) posting here from what I see. Maybe you could forgive yourself for what ever is bothering you. You might find a nice person there to love. You can't change the past so let it go.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Hmmmmm... seems I've been here before. I guess dealing with the anger is very similar to dealing with the anxiety. It's a phase that will pass?????

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thanks Tiana. I guess I was meditating... it just sort of happened when I sought to slow my thoughts. It happened again this morning without my really thinking about it. Today I noticed all the noises of the house which are ordinarily background noise I just don't notice. Three different clocks, ticking.... each with a different rhythm and sound; a faucet dripping, furnace clicking, pipes contracting, refrigerator humming, coffee pot gurgling..... All this noise going on day in and day out that I just automatically tune out. Got me to thinking about my thoughts. How many of them are relegated to automatic tune-out, yet are still there effecting everything I do?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

~m,

No, not too much information. I'm very glad to hear that in the silence, the loving voice of self comes through! What a lovely gift for you! You are a child of God, the Universe, whatever you believe in, therefore of course you should love yourself! That's my two cents on what you should 'make of this'!

It sounds like you were meditating. Is this something you can see yourself doing daily? Sounds like it could be very helpful. Keep working the program.

Tiana, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thank you Davit... I'm headed to do the reading in a sec.

I had a problem with Ativan too. It was prescribed by my pdoc and I took it as I was supposed to. Only after 7 years did I find out how addictive it is and how it makes you crave alcohol. Getting off was awful. But I'm glad I finally found a doctor who recognized the danger for me. I'm sorry you had to deal with it too.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

In a month or two those invasive thoughts will start to fade. Whether you let them or not will dictate if it will be a month or two or a year or two. But they will fade. But they are in your memory just like all thought, so they are there for you if you want them.

If you can go back and read on negative core beliefs. The treatment for invasive thoughts is the same as for core beliefs.

I still get them but how I look at them dictates whether they have power. No they don't cause me anxiety, they are just annoying.

The whole CBT thing took me longer than it should have because of my Ativan addiction.

It may take you longer than you would like, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN. If you stick with it. And there will be times you want to say forget it. If that happens, tell us. We will give you all the reasons to keep at it, and all the support you need.

Here for you.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

sorry... TMI...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

I'm so glad you asked this question Spartan. This is scary.

Sunny wrote:

Those invasive thoughts seem to fade after a month or two.

My first reaction to your statement, Sunny, was... "A MONTH OR TWO !!! You gotta be kidding me!" I was sort of picturing constant panic for two months. But then remembered the earlier post about balance in the day to day. Even if it really were like that (constant panic) it's a small price to pay to change my life around. It has taken 50+ years for all this fear to build up... so I'm changing my response internally to "A MONTH OR TWO !!! You gotta be kidding me... is that ALL?"

And then Loves Trees wrote:

... one of the first things that might happen is that you might realize how many distressing thoughts you actually have and THAT can end up being distressing (to realize how deep the anxiety is rooted).

This is already happening for me. I can't believe so much underlying negative noise in my brain. This afternoon, I had sort of a backwards realization. I was trying to relax, calm my mind, do the breathing. It took a good long while for quiet to come. When it finally did, I heard a thought that said "I love you". I was stunned. In two ways. I never tell myself that. And, I realized in that quiet moment that usually what is going through my head non-stop, is this repeating pattern of internal "white noise" which says over and over and over... I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I'm just blown away. I don't know what to make of this.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Spartan,

I'm sorry it is hard right now but please don't give up. Continue to work on the program and it will get easier. Remember this will pass. Just keep fighting and taking it one day at a time.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi: I've had that also. When I was journaling, things seem to come to a head. It was very uncomfortable and stressful and felt definitely on the edge. At one point I considered to stop journaling. I'm glad I didn't. Those invasive thoughts seem to fade after a month or two. Good luck,

Sunny

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