Spartan.
I am so sorry that happened to you. You know what happened. You forgot it was your decision to drive. You forgot it was your decision to use that street. You let control go back to your fear.
Instead of telling yourself you are close to home when you are not, try for some control. Admit you are not doing well but it was still your decision. See with agoraphobia it starts with any loss of control of the situation. EG. to have the car, you can't just have it you have to drive hubby to work. All subconscious. so you have this slight loss of control of the situation, even though you wanted to drive him to work, the subconscious thought that you are going to have to go back again is aiming you in the direction of a negative core belief (such as I can't do this) (I don't know you well enough to know what core beliefs you have). Once they are opened they have to run their course, (panic attack). So now you have the core belief and the residual from the panic attack to deal with.
Bury the core belief by telling yourself over and over that what you have to do is your decision, you are the one with the control.
Bury the thought on the panic attack by accepting that it happened and you survived again and will if you have another.
Problems with driving, riding subways, elevators, and flying are all because you have no say in what is happening around you. And this is true, but to put control back on your side you have to tell yourself it was your decision to do it and that you can do it even if it is uncomfortable. Same with building the positive belief to bury the negative one. It is not enough to say I did it. (although yelling "I won" really helps) you want reinforcement. You want. something like. It was my decision and I knew I could do it and I know I can do it again.
When you got home instead of thinking on how bad it was, you should have been thinking how well you did, and yelling I won I did it. Always aiming for the positive in the situation.
I know how hard this is but you can take back control of your life. You can.
Here for you,
Davit.
Ps. This is just the core of it. You need distractions for when you are stuck in traffic as a coping skill, making faces in the mirror works for me.
