My stomach doesn't really hurt, I get like a gagging sort of thing I guess. I feel like I can't swallow the food. I had depression after two of my kids and the same thing happened. It lasted like two weeks. Hopefully it will go away. I did get some nutrition replacement until I can eat again though. It is sweet and I am a salt person but whatever it takes, hopefully it will take care of the shakes that I get in the morning.
On a good note, I went to the councilor and she was very nice. I felt better once I left there. We talked about how the house burned down and I didn't really talk about it. I tend to bottle things up and she thinks everything is coming to a head with hubby going third shift and the changes going on. She thinks some of it could be the change of life as well and the fact that I work two jobs and put in a boatload of hours. I was a little freaked out in the elevator, I was alone in it and the door closed slowly then beeped but the door didn't open for what seemed like longer than it should. I work on the 5th floor at work so I take the elevator all the time. I had a panic attack in there once when the door closed and it didn't move then I realized I never pushed the floor button.
I actually feel pretty good right now, it is the mornings that seem to bother me. I think it is waking up with the shakes and then going to a job that I am not crazy about. I make decent money and it pays the mortgage so it is not like I can quit or even look somewhere else ( I did not go to college) Well let me re-phrase. I like the job, I am working for a boss who was my friend before. Personally I do not think she is all that great of a boss, I work 45-50 hours in the office and then take work home and it still is not enough. If it was just me feeling this way I would think maybe I am not doing the job well but the other two that work with me say the same thing. Now that hubby is working in Boston he is not liking it so that stresses me out a bit too. He got lost the first two nights going out there. They do road work overnight so the detours keep changing and he has to call his coworker to come get him. He does not know the area at all and since it is dark I am sure it is hard to find.
I did go to my son's promotion day today with my daughter, we did not go into the auditorium because it was packed with 200 kids and 400 parents but I did get a picture of him. Then I fell asleep on the couch for about an hour and woke up with the shakes again so I went to visit my mom. I love her dearly but sometimes she does not help with the anxiety. Over the weekend she told me I was probably having a nervous breakdown so all I could visualize was the straight jacket and rubber room then today she told me that if I was going though menopause not to take estrogen because both my grandmothers died of cancer. I had to change the subject a couple times to keep calm, then my youngest son called to tell me his dirt bike broke.
Tomorrow will be better, I am bringing a couple of the nutrition replacements to work along with some yogurt and oatmeal. Maybe I will bring a salad for lunch. I hope everyone has a good day :)
