I must say, there is such wisdom here that I feel grateful to have found this community when I did. You all have a way of putting things into perspective, not the least of which is the knowledge that "it's not just me." In learning that the panic itself cannot harm me physically, I have been thinking a lot about the old adage "whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger." How can I turn this to my advantage? Aside from getting through the attacks themselves, what positive things can I find in these experiences?
Our lives may be finite, which only means that we should enjoy life to its fullest. I must be fully present for my children. I must find the joy in each day and cultivate joy for others. Enjoy the companionship I have with friends and family, experiencing the journey of our lives together. Experience the magic of small things the way my children do, and encourage them (and myself at the same time!) to live with a sense of wonder and gratitude. Pursue a feeling of contentment and fulfillment within myself. Recognize the things I can change and those I cannot; don't waste energy worrying about the latter.
A lot of the time, this all sounds like platitudinous psychobabble to me, yet when I feel the panic coming on these thoughts have helped it wash over me quickly. I think, if my brain is creating and perpetuating the anxiety (that is, these thoughts come from within me, rather than from some external source), I should somehow be able to harness it. I don't know that I can/should strive to control it, just not allow it to control me. I, like all humans, desire to be happy... yet I remember reading some time ago that theoretically speaking we can't truly experience the positive unless we have a little of the negative to balance it against. So some of us have anxiety, and yeah it really sucks. But perhaps without it we might not fully appreciate what's positive in our lives. I may never get back to the carefree, worry-free life I had (although I'm sure there are some that can do this), but I feel empowered knowing that I can truly value the happiness and contentment I experience.
Perhaps I should have posted this in Challenging Your Anxious Thoughts...