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Miki...
It's me again... And boy do we ever have things in common.. First how it all begins and then this.. the "Death Factor".. It terrifies me too. Not all the time but I go through phases when I just realize my life will "end"... and I will cease to exist..etc.etc...
I don't know if you have "faith" or believe in anything but for me that has helped a lot. I tried a lot of different things and am currently working on something that I feel fits my life. For some it's religion others sprituality. I think it's a big part of why the fear was so terrifying for me. I didn't have anything to give me "peace"... I'm still not there completely but it's a journey that I think is worth taking.
I've had nights when I'm just overwhelmed by the thought of dying and it is very scary. You're not alone though.. Even people who don't have anxiety "fear the unknown"..How can we not?? We only know our lives here... But thanks to our disorder our thought process tends to go a bit haywire.
For me personally it's the fear of NOT knowing what will happen..Having no control over it.. I mean my husband always says if it does just end.. we will never know ..and that's true. If there is something greater than us then that will be something else... We won't know though.. and somehow we have to come to accept that.
You're NOT CRAZY though.. The loves are of your life are here with you now.. Enjoy them...
If the thoughts persist though you should see your doctor... Sometimes the disorder comes with "obsessions".. thoughts we can't control.. or maybe you're just ruminating.. both are unpleasant but perfectly NORMAL....
Anytime you want to talk Miki.. I'll lend an ear.
Hey guys, lately I am not able to stop thinking about death. I think of all the worst things death can feel like and I get really depressed. In whatever I do, I get sad because one day I will disappear and that reality haunts me. I try to think happy thoughts but is brought back down with the idea that I will never get happy thoughts ever again when I die. I get sad that all the loves in my life, family, friends, my dog, will disappear into dust. I feel like everything is worthless because eventually I will die. I am afraid to post this up because I sound crazy for thinking this way but I can't make it stop.
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