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Moderation

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

ND,

You could be one of those hard drinkers. Given a good reason, the book says with a mild therapy and education could learn to moderate or even quit on their own accord. Just pay caution like those sneaky incident you had in your vacation. It all starts with letting the guard down. And slowly the insanity returns. Good luck with your journey.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Flip flopmom, I understand your point. And I agree with you. how different we are with that glass that darn "glass". My husband used to say he would shutter when he'd hear the martini glass on the granite in the kitchen. He'd think here we go. I remember the time I was going yo make homemade lemonchello I can't spell it. But it was a Sunday nite. The recipe calls for it to sit covered with the lemons for a week then you can bottle up and give to friends....needless to say mine never made it past that night. I drank the entire thing. Omg. So ridiculous. The next day my husband was like--- did you have fun last night? I said "no"....he asked "then why do you do it?".

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

In hindsight, moderation made my problem with alcohol worse. I really thought I could moderate, and still at times wish I could, but realistically it's just doesn't work for me. All the thoughts about alcohol, planning to drink, the thoughts that are in my head when I'm holding the glass... they make me into someone I just don't like at all.

It's been easier to abstain than to attempt to moderate, which still amazes me today.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

I have been moderating for a while now. Here's my take on it....

Foxman, I don't have a daily craving for it as I did in my hey day of drinkinng. In those day's I would buy it everyday, hide it and drink to excess. I was running a program. And in those day's if I didn't get to drink the way I wanted I did get irritable and discontented. I was edgy when I was trying to get to the point in the day when I could get it. I took a long time off and feel like I gave my brain a chance to clean out so to speak. To form new habits. With the goal in the beginning of just staying sober and proving to my family that I was an important part of life and not a drunk they had to just deal with. I had goals to win trust and be free of that damn demon. If I didn't get rid of it I would have probably not lived much longer.

But now....In fact I have an entire conversation with myself before I'll ever let myself have a first drink. It's a deliberate thing on my part---but only so far. My husband still collects wine and we will have a glass or two on a date. As with anyone that is drinking--even people that don't have problems with alcohol---if you get too many drinks your brain pretty much switches to auto pilot and it's going to do what it's going to do. (I feel). Then you say---why not abstain then? I do that most of the time. And I practice mindful moderation. Meaning I gave up a long time ago on not having to think about it. I will never be one that can just casually go out for drinks. I do know that about myself. I don't drink alone--ever. And I take a lot of time off between. Not looking for another chance to drink or opportunity. I don't think about it. BUT---on vacation I did have a moment of weakness where I found myself doing the sneaking and the demon creeping into my head. Scared me a bunch. So, I take a moment and say...hold back, pull yourself together. This is not good for you...this is not you anymore. Self talk really works for me. Sounds crazy but, it does. In fact I'll even look in the mirror and do a little self butt chewing if I need it. LOL. Our brain is a powerful thing. We can overcome anything we set our mind to doing. I really believe that. But that's just my opinion. :-)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Yes this how I operated. On workdays I would like to drink couple, yet failed. And during weekends its would be more, but I would still go over that set target. The body always asked more than I planned. Worst of all, I couldnt even stay stopped during the work days at the end of the driking career. And when I read the book AA, it all made sense for me. Especially being restless irritable and disconteded. You could add more-anxious, bored, subtle depression...when not drinking. When I look back the period from 94 till 98 I would so be cussing myself for accepting the proposition to drink only on Friday. I will be so looking forward to Fridays. And that would come and go. Week-ends will be horible.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

I have been hopelessly unsuccessful with moderation. Of course, moderation to me was having an entire bottle of wine, usually Saturday, all by myself. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before I’d have a bottle on Friday and Saturday. Knowing how destructive that was to my health, I’d pull back and stop for several weeks, or months to detox.

Without fail, I’d be invited to a “drinking” occasion and convince myself that I’d drink for that particular occasion and then not drink after that. Ridiculous for me to even consider drinking at all. I simply don’t like the taste of alcohol and only drink it for the buzz. Moderation unfortunately, does not fit that particular criteria. :/

My only option is to not drink but it is very difficult to break this drinking mindset, this infuriating annoying habit. I’ve always looked at drinking as a reward and that’s a problem. It’s not a reward, it’s a serious punishment on so many levels. Comes right back to rewiring your brain and I suck at that.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 54

Well, in the past I've been very good at doing moderation in moderation... Seriously though, I think I just don't like setting limits on things. With alcohol there may be times I'll just have 1-3, but it's more likely that when I decide to let myself drink it's to drink whatever amount I feel like - which is usually way more than that even if very rarely to the point of being passing out drunk.

I may currently have moderation listed as my goal, but I'm trying abstention as the means to meet that goal. I'm not doing it for the sake of abstention itself, I'm doing it for many far more tangible and practical reasons, which I am endeavouring to remind myself of everyday and every time I think about drinking. I seriously don't think I will abstain completely long term, but I don't want to feel like if I have a glass of champagne and a drink at someone's wedding I've thrown it all away either.

Call it a twist on the "wants to want to quit" notion. "Wants to not want to drink". And starting that by trying to get used to going without and seeing that life is better without, and keeping in mind that historically I am not good at moderating..

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

The first thing I did when I realized that I am drinking more than normal was to switch from hard liquor to beer and wine. Later on when that switch didn't work, I attempted to cut down the amount of alcohol I consumed. That didn't work either. Then I tried "not to have alcohol in my house". That didn't work either, made several trips to the gas station or package store.

So my question to people who are attempting moderation. What is the amount you think is normal? And after consuming it, do you feel contented? Or Are you waiting for your close ones to turn the other side so you can take couple of shots/drinks without others knowledge? What is the demeanor at that moment/state of mind. Do you think "wish I was all alone so I don't have to be answerable to others"?

The reason I am asking is, at the final stage, I was into this moderation but couldn't enjoy myself. I was unease before and after. And then I would give in and start all over again. So just checking to how successful are others.

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