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Day 90

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Lynne,

I agree that the quietening of that voice in your head telling you to drink is a major feeling of freedom. I have found that good things continue to happen and that becomes a motivation in itself. For me, the consideration of what I have gone through to get here and how much better things are on this side, also help keep me on track.

All the best for your week ahead Lynne!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 348

Julie,

Thank you for sharing some of your experiences, my path seems to be similar to yours in its ups, downs, and obstacles. I find some of the smallest things have made me smile and realize that what I am doing is for the best. The freeing feeling of not being tied to alcohol and the lack of anticipation for 5:00 (or whatever time I had said was OK to drink that day) is making this transition "doable" at this time. I find myself thinking that those 2 things will not keep me on this track but then have to remind myself that issue is for another day, enjoy today and this feeling of freedom.

I hope things are going well for you, have a great day and week!

Lynn

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Lynn,

I did find that it really took a while until I got used to the fact that I don't drink. I wanted to quit for good as I have quit and tried moderation after a few times, and I ended up right back where I started. I was committed from the beginning but I wasn't sure that I could do it. As time progressed, I realized that I was doing it and it was getting easier, less of an hour by hour struggle. The habit of reaching for wine at 5 p.m. is gone and I really don't think about it, at times, at all. I don't feel the urge now although at times I really do wish that I could drink sensibly like others; but, I do know now that I can't.

For me, setting a new manageable goal each time I reach my current one is a motivation and light at the end of the tunnel:first 30 days then 60 then 90, 100 and now 180. I joined up for Tired of Thinking About Drinking's (a blog online) 100 Day Challenge. All this being said, I have faced the fact that really my goal is not drinking again, period.

I have found that I feel much better physically now. I am spending less time on alcohol research, books, blogs etc as I did in the beginning. (I spent loads of time on this to try and motivate myself at the beginning). I feel confident that I have quit and I am not going back now. This life is a much better life in so many ways.

I do find that my emotions are more on the surface as I no longer numb them with alcohol; but, I think this is a good thing. But the guilt, shame, down feelings have gone.

As far as obstacles, I have had my ups and downs but that is life isn't it? Things seem a little more raw when the edges aren't blurred. I have found times where I feel I have plateaued but then in a few days I feel better. Trying to write daily on my blog here has helped me reflect on things. Posting on here keeps me focussed on maintaining my sobriety.

I had read that for the first 90 days the focus and your energy needs to be staying alcohol free, and that is enough. After that, I found a shift where I am now looking for positive things to do with my extra time now but not pressuring myself. I am finding a sense of self compassion that I have not had before. This is a very good thing!

Good for you Lynn in your struggle to 90 days! It takes courage to do that but we find we do have it within us. I look forward to hearing more about your progress. Take good care!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 348

Julie,

Thank you, and congratulations to you as well! 180 days, wow, what a goal! I don't know about you but I am so glad that I did not drink after a month of being alcohol free. I had questioned Health Educator Ashley if after a month would my body be ready to "test." She stated that addition counselors suggest 3 months then re-evaluate. Tough words to hear at the time but I now understand. I am at 50+ days and sometimes desire a drink a bit too much to have reset myself completely.

Did you face major obstacles after your 50 day mark? Good luck with your goal!

Lynn

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi Lynn123,

Congratulations on your 48 days of no drinking! It sounds like you are experiencing some positives now. I had a similar realization that life without alcohol is very freeing and much better than life with alcohol. I also found 100 days a good benchmark to aim for. Well done on your efforts to stop for this all those days; it is not an easy thing. Keep up the great work. I am sending support your way!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 348

Dave,

I wake this morning after 48 days and nights of being alcohol free and I still find myself amazed that I find being alcohol free better than life with alcohol. You asked if I find myself more balanced, YES! I guess sometimes you don't realize you had a problem with something until that problem is gone.

How do I fill my previously time previously filled with alcohol? In the beginning it was tough, but only because it was a break from the habit. I think of the time I used to spend waiting for the "time" for the first drink. Certain things had to be accomplished by the time I started or shortly after so for me the afternoon was full of anticipation and rush. I became very irritated if things delayed the start of my drinking night because for me, I HAD to get in those 5-7 drinks before I went to bed. I had myself convinced that I could not go to sleep or stay asleep without alcohol; the human mind can rationalize anything can't it? Once the drinking began I thought I was productive but looking back I was only going through motions of accomplishment. Now that my habit/addition is slowly being broken I find myself enjoying the afternoon, making plans or just going with whatever comes up. Very freeing not being tied to alcohol. As for my sleep, I find no problem getting 8-9 hours.

As I write this I wonder if I will drink again. Strange thought for me because I thought I just wanted to moderate but now I see how much better life is without alcohol and not sure if I will drink again; but that will be a decision for another time. For now I want to accomplish this 3 month break, which I will probably extend to 100 days, and then re-evaluate.

Thanks again for your support. Hope you have a great day!

Lynn

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11218

Beautiful Julie.

Thank you so much for sharing your success with us. You are an inspiration!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Lynn1234,

That is so great what you've accomplished so far! Well done! Keep going because things will continue you get better. What do you do to replace the time you previously spent drinking? Once we give ourselves a break we often begin to re-discover the things we really enjoy. Have you found you're more balanced mentally\ emotionally?

Thank you the positive feedback as well. Sincerely appreciated.

All the best,

Dave

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Hope1234,

That addictive voice can really you crazy. Question......why does the thought of never having a glass of wine drive you crazy? Better yet, why even consider the question of NEVER doing anything again? What exactly does that mean? As soon as you begin to think in terms of extreme's (back and white thinking) you become over-whelmed almost immediately. For myself, I prefer to not think that way. We have today. The past is cement and the future is promised to no one. One thing I can tell you is the world won't run out of wine. That's a great plan to set a goal of not drinking during this week. Just remember, Friday is "during" the week as well so re-evluate on Saturday. Use the diary and mark off your days and make notes. Check in for support. Have a read through this site (https://rational.org/index.php?id=35). It may give you a different perspective on this addictive voice. The most important thing is you find a support system that works best for you. Stick with it! You have more strength than you realize. You just need to give yourself a chance. If you stopped for 3 months you'd feel a lot better for sure.

All the best.

Dave

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Hope1234,

I was in your situation about 9 years ago. Morning if you had me take a lie detector test, I would come out in flying colors but somewhere during the day, the internal voice would say, you got to go home and carry the work at home, you can handle it and somethere on the way back I my car will get into a gas station where I will by a beer and drink it all the way home and will be ready for the next one in a few minutes. I will make several trips back and forth. The mind always played trick with me. When I entered the fellowship of AA, after reading the doctors opinion and other chapters its the "queer mental" twist some call it the stinking thinking, those obsessive thoughts that we need to overcome. Very common among alcoholics. In couple of weeks I will be celebrating 9 years of alcohol free life. Life on life terms, absolutely no mind altering substance. Don't even take those zolofts. I dumped them after 2 years of continuous sobriety. You can do it.

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Day 90