Well done me101! That is fantastic and you are heading towards your Day 30! Keep it up and you will no doubt make it through your long weekend. I will look forward to hearing all about it!
It is not a miracle though - it is all your hard work and strength that got you through this. You did AMAZING! So proud of you. I hope you are thoroughly enjoying the weekend as I type this.
I think making a plan for the long weekend is very important. What will you include in that plan?
Well it is almost a miracle. I am at work. A lady who I asked out appeared. She works for a company that delivers me the screws I need. I am a carpenter at a hospital. My heart started to beat faster. She never bothered to show up for our date. She was making excuses, and I told here I don't want to hear it. After she left all these feelings came rushing up. One was a craving to go and drink. I was fine before that. I even posted a paragraph on how my weekend was going to be. It was 1pm. I finish at 4pm. During the 3 hours left to work. I was fighting with my urges. I was using the ABC thing, and just playing the tape to where it all would lead if I did drink. I felt better, but at 4pm The urges resurfaced do I drink, or don't I. The thing is is that The night before I received a 8$ coupon from my grocery store. It is a point thing. I only had 10$ on me, but with the coupon I had enough to buy beer. (payday is next week) From the night before I had this little annoying urge, but I was controlling it, until that girl showed up. After that The urges multiplied. The thing is in order to redeem the coupon I had to drive across town. Now it was either keep driving home or take a right and go get some beer. I am driving, and you all know what my mind was telling me, so eventually I took a right to that grocery store. During that time I am telling myself no, no,no. My addicted brain was saying yes, yes, yes. It was awful. I get to the grocery store, go in, and As I am looking for the beer counter I see all this food, and I am thinking maybe I should just by some chicken wings, and leave, but I keep walking towards the beer counter. I finally get to it, and I am just standing there looking at it. I am looking at the beer, and I am looking at the % of alcohol on each six pack. One is 3% the other 4%- 4.2% - 4.9%. 6%, and I am looking at all of this, and I am calculating how hung over I will be with each %. I never calculated before. I use to use and lets go. Now I am finding myself always calculating what I am drinking, so I start to realize what the hell am I doing, as I thought this, I turned around, and There is the chips, and pop section. I told myself the hell with this I will just grab a pop. I go over to the pop, and I grab a six pack of 7up, and open a can right there, and I start guzzling it down. I turn and grab a bag of Dorito's, and I start to eat some chips. I must of looked like some one who has not eaten in days. I went to the register, and paid for it, and left. As I am walking out I could not believe what had just happened. It's a miracle. I was face to face with the beast, and I survived. I survived. Now I am at home. I still have some cravings, but I spent the coupon.There is this feeling, a feeling of emptiness. I feel like I gave up a chance to drink. I feel o.k. about it, but. What I am glad is that all the plans I made for this weekend will come true. If I had bought that beer. I would of been sleeping all weekend. I did the right thing, but my addicted self is hurt. I feel, and I am afraid that the beast will take its revenge next week. PAYDAY, AND A LONG WEEKEND. I will have to plan carefully, but that is next week, and next week will be my 30th day sober. Well that's it, a lot can happen in 3 hours ay. Thank god I have these websites to help me. It sure does help. Now I will have supper, and my homemade pizza, and a pop. A 7up of course.
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