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Urge to drink is totally normal. I am 10 month in and when people piss me off (stress) I think screw it I am going to jump into the relief of a drink to forget the bill crap. Yes, it is normal to seek the relief that we relied on for many years. BUT we have to think how far we have gone, how bad it was when when drink. How many of our family would just shake their heads and walk away. We need many reasons to stay sober. The fellow ship of AA is a good place to start. I have many many friends in AA I would hate to not see them. So when I get the urge I pick up the phone and call another Alcoholic. Yes, I am humble enough to pickup the 500 pound phone and say I am having a bad day.
Our mind always seeks the effect we used to experience in the past by drinking one or two drinks, but if we are alcoholic, it does not end there. And when the obsession strikes, I wound't even be writing on this board, I will be drinking. Thats where the 12 steps helps me. I don't get stressed out. We relax and take it easy.
So is it not considered normal? I would have never took that step and taken a drink. I've come too far, and I like the new me much more. I just had so much stress last week, thus my mind going back to that place it used to go to. Stressed out......just take a drink.
My experience is that after I admitted/realized to my innermost self that I am alcoholic and been working the 12 steps, the obsession has been lifted. I do carry beer in my refrigerator which is totally for guests that may need them. Occasionally a thought may come through but that will be quickly squashed and i don't fight that just like the 10th step promises say:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Thanks for your reply Jakelad. I guess I should realize he really cant understand the struggle as he doesn't drink at all. I'll just be thankful he stands beside me.
Support from people that do not have a drinking problem I have found is useless. I asked my girl to read the chapter in the Big Book - To the wives and to the families. I am not sure she read it. I am quick to pout, resent and try to control every situation even sober. These are some of my defects that I am working on. My lady is very helpful but I do not think she realizes how it is to not drink. I do use her as motivation, because she in my eyes is perfect and if I where to give up on my recovery I would surely lose her. My love for her is just one of the gift I have received in sobriety.
Well I dealt with the most difficult urges last week. It wasn't necessarily because it was Christmas. More so, the stress. I didn't anticipate these urges, but quickly recognized them. I jumped on here and started reading, and watched documentaries. I made it through it. Is it normal to have urges like that? Also wanted to ask about what support system you guys have. I really wish my other half knew how hard I've worked to remain sober, loose weight and get healthy. I truly believe he just thought I enjoyed drinking. Dont think he believed I am an alcoholic. I've tried talking to him a few times to no avail. Maybe I'm expecting too much from him. My support is you guys, and I'm so thankful for each of you. Just wish I could talk to him. I've been sober since May. I remain committed to my new life. I just feel like I'm going through some of this alone. Does anyone have any insight they can share? Again, I appreciate each of you. Thanks for letting me vent.
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