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Day Two thoughts and feelings

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

"Wish that I was going to say no because I simply don't want it when reality is I am probably really going to want it......"

Hi Cassy, wanting or not is irrelevant. Of course you're going to want it. You, like all of us, have conditioned ourselves in so many different ways to drinking in all sorts of different occasions it's crazy. I have news for you, and I mean this in the most pleasantly direct way. Expect the vast majority of the situations that are associated with alcohol to anxiously uncomfortable at first. ALL of them. Some much more than others. We are breaking a cycle right now and some situations are like snapping twigs and pretty easy while others you really have to put your knee into because they are like breaking a thick branch. But the more you do it the easier it gets. Trust me on this one, it works. It's perfectly ok and completely understandable to want it. Expect it. Plan ahead for it mentally and start to work through the anxiety of it before you get there and PLAN what you are going to say so you're not trying to "ad lib" in moment. Confidence assertiveness is what we are going for here. Having some anxiety about it isn't going to hurt you and you need to remind yourself of that in the moment. "I was expecting this and it's perfectly ok because it's part of the healing process". If you broke your wrist you'd be expecting it to be uncomfortable when you start to use it again right? Well, guess what? It's no different when you start to use your "freedom of choice" when you've been ignoring it for so long. Every tome you exercise it that "muscle" gets stronger.

You are your expectations. If you let that voice in your head start the process of anticipating a drink days before you define a self-fulling prophecy. Shut it down! Be very concrete and affirmative when talking to yourself and say "I don't drink". Define it for yourself first, others later.

Something to think about.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 348

Cassy,

You are strong in your thoughts, let that carry you through your struggles. I know you will be traveling but post when you can/need to. As you have seen, you will find support! Safe travels to you!

Lynn

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Today is Sunday, and after a day in bed, I am feeling alive again. I have to leave

For the city today to catch a flight home tomorrow, where I will be faced

With a lot of drinkers in my family and friends and also

Explaining my problem with alcohol to people who will find my concern

Silly. This is because, well they are alcoholics themeselves and they see me

As such together human being, for the most

Part I am. Just way out of control with drinking.

I keep finding myslef imagining situations where I would be asked to drink and

Wish that I was going to say no because I simply don't want it when reality is I am probably really going to want it.

I mostly think about wine with my mom and aunts...wish I could handle the occasional glass. But, I have teied moderTion and it does not work for me I always end up abusing. I guess, once I get to a certain point in my sobriety it will seem pointless to even have just one,,,at least I hope I will see it that way.

Staying strong in my journey. So grateful for the site, I really never expected it to be so helpful especially so quickly.

Love and light to you all.

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Day Two thoughts and feelings