Hi Squashed,
Nice to here from again as it's been a while! I hope you are doing well. I've considered the same thing and I realized I don't really want to go down that road. It's a pretty common thing for people who quit to consider having a drink and then go on to drink moderately. For others it spirals into a ever-worsening hell. I can only speak for myself so, yes, I've considered it. Then I consider what it was like when I quit (which is easy to do because I documented it in my diary, i.e. the destructive impact it was having on my relationships). One thing I've realized about myself through the process of quitting is that my personality type doesn't lend itself well to drinking. As I've researched the topic I found that I fall into the category of a type "T" personality (I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie).
Here's a good article on it:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-playing-field/200803/the-addicitve-nature-adrenaline-sport
This is one of the characteristics I really enjoy about myself and I don't want to change it. Interestingly enough, as the article states, these activities stimulate the release of endorphins, dopamine, and norepinephrine. There's a strong connection between endorphins and alcohol abuse. Studies show that drinking alcohol stimulates an endorphin release (here's an article on it, http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120111155137.htm ). Growing up in a dysfunctional, alcoholic environment led to a lot of fear and, since our natural inclination is to pursue a course of action to exercise control over our fears, alcohol consumption is a fast and easy solution. It comes back to that "Fight or flight" reaction to situations of anxiety and fear. The endorphin release can come from many sources; i.e. exercise, or even religion and it can become addictive until itself. I started a thread on this a while ago on endorphins and alcohol abuse. Engaging in high-dish activities is also a characteristic of Adult Children of Alcoholics and dysfunctional homes.
So for myself, I find I fall into a pattern....I can start off with a beer or a glass of wine and it generally doesn't create any problems for the first little while but eventually I start to push the boundaries and get caught up in the excess (binge drinking ) and forget about all the incredibly negative consequences it has on my life until I get to the point where I need to do a reset and stop. I now realize I enjoy life so much more not drinking that I don't want to bother with it.
This is just one aspect of a very tangled and complicated ball of string I'm learning to unravel in my own quest for self-understaning and I have many miles to go and I'm quite enjoying it. I think re-introducing alcohol into my life would likely ruin it, or at the very least, take away from it. Thanks for asking the question though because it's led me to some new areas to research on my original idea.
Best regards,
Dave
