forums like this r helpful since you talk with people who hav actually been there, foxman pointed out to me that even though u minimize or stop drinking your character is still the same and your partners is still the same so i found one had to look honestly at the reasons for drinking, being willing to change and admitting the drinking are huge steps and kudos to you for being there, something else i think about is that removing a negative such as drinking too much doesnt bring the accolades to me from others that i expect since the expectation was that it shouldnt hav happened in the first place, listening to what your partner is saying is a big plus and looking for the good in people helps, i find one has to really work , cognitively, to c the positives, finding a moral compass helps also, these arnt easy concepts for me thats why i find it helpful to talk with others who understand
