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Friend W

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

Do you know how to work the CBT buddies? Lulu..

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

I really think you need to be honest with her and im sure she will stand by you and support you when you need it and it may even help you more if you talk with her because then you wouldnt have the need to hide your feelings from her which im sure would cause you some degree of anxiety.If shes willing to marry you then she must love you and if she suffers from anxiety then theres no doubt in my mind she will understand.Would you want to be married with somebody who judged you for having anxiety(which im sure she wouldnt anyway)? Just my opinion hope it helps some. :) Lulu..

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Well, her father has taken anti-depressants for a while now and she knows I have anxiety issues. She also said tonight that if I have something I can take to help me through this, then to take it. I am nearly about to leave work early. I already asked if I could, but I now may stay. I guess I am afraif I will lose her if she thinks I have a serious problem with anxiety. It just seems to shoot up during certain times of the year and this is one time. David

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

Vacation sounds good :)a permanent vacation from anxiety would be lovely!You have a lot going on in your life at the moment and any change whether it be good or bad is scary because we like our routine however mundane it is we know its there.Why do you think your fiance wouldnt understand? Lulu..

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Thanks, lulu. I know I will feel better soon. This is as bad as I have felt in a while. It's ups and downs. It's very painful and I am afraid to tell my fiance everything. She might not understand. I am under a lot of stress with a wedding coming up, changing work, moving, etc. I need a vacation. David

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

Sorry your having a rough time at the moment i hate that surreal feeling you get and the only way im able to rid it is to go to sleep i try to keep busy keep my mind active on things other than how i am feeling but sometimes nothing helps and you just have to let it pass sorry i cant help you more. Lulu..

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

I started off the weekend not so great, but then I really had a good Saturday and then worked Saturday night and experienced a moment of dissociation, but then it went away and my fiance came over Sunday morning. We spent the afternoon together and then on the way to get my laundry I had the usual feeling of mortality where I fear dying and know I will someday. This really only bothers me after panic attacks, which I have had 3-4 of the past 2 months. I am now at work and took 5mg of diazepam and really miss my fiance a lot and feel a lot of dissociation. I have off Monday and Tuesday. David

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

Im glad you had a great time with your fiance and friends its nice to feel'normal' every once in a while.I went to the doctor today because of those chest pains i was having and he told me im on the verge of pneumonia and a middle ear infection si he gave me some antibiotics and said if it dosnt clear up in 24 hours i have to go to the ER.no wonder i was in agony.anyway i need lots of rest so i'll talk to you soon. Lulu..

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Hi lulu. I had a very nice evening with my fiance and friends. We went to Olive Garden. It was a lot of fun and I felt really good. I had that good feelings until about 1:45 and all of a sudden on my way home in my parking lot, I started having the fear of dying thing again. I never know exactly what brings this on, but I took a 5mg valium for it so it could help me with working tonight. I might not have needed it had I not had to work. I was doing really good at work though I did notice I was talking a lot. For some reason that sometimes points to anxiety when you are chatty. The anxiety attack I had 3 weeks ago was because I was hyperventilating. Perhaps I was doing that today. I did do some yoga in the a.m. and p.m. I bought a book on it to learn more. I KNOW I will be rid of these thoughts soon, but I hate when anxiety taps you on the shoulder and reminds you it's still there. My thoughts of dying revolve around my fear of it and not anything suicidal. My problem is I wish we were all immortals. Like on Highlander. I feel like it scares me because sometimes I lose sight of the fact that life is short and who knows what happens after. David

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 295

Hi Wrestler how did you go at work today? How is your depression i hope you are feeling better.My depression seems to be lifting a little i have felt a little better today though now i have chest pain that is really uncomfortable im sure it is anxiety i have had all the usual heart tests i do have an irregular heart rythym but nothing thats going to do me any harm unless it gets worse so theres always that worry that maybe its got worse i hope that makes sense.I will see how it is tomorrow before i start to panic about it. Hopefully its only anxiety i am pretty stressed at the moment with the husband situation thers really not a great deal to tell about it my husband is a compulsive liar which i am having trouble dealing with because he wont take steps to help himself and on top of that he is addicted to a certain prescription drug and i have begged/pleaded/threatened and given him ultimatums but he wont get any sort of help and my doctor and pshychologist say theres not a great deal i can do he has to want to get help so i told him tonight i was leaving him hes sleeping on the couch and i hope its the wake up call he needs because i dont really know if i have the strength to really leave the thought just petrifies me here i am a 27 year old mother of 4 beautiful children acting like a scared lttle mouse.Do you have any children? I used to cry alot with my depression but since i am on a stronger dose of zoloft i cant seem to get teary at all.Perhaps im just all cried out.I dont really fear dying (although i dont want to) i fear not being in control of my body like being a paraplegic or something i would hate that cause ive always been very sporty/active so thats my biggest fear.anyhow thats probably enough rambling on for one night so i hope you have a lovely night with your fiance talk to you soon take care. :) Lulu..

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