I stopped drinking 39 days ago. I feel pretty good. Sometimes I have down days, but not nearly as many as I used to have. My triggers come and go. But I've been here before. I've gone many months without drinking. Then I relapsed. I thought enough time had passed that I should be able to enjoy an occasional drink. Wrong. It was different when I relapsed. My drinking pattern changed. Instead of drinking every day, I would drink once or twice a week, but I would binge. It was impossible to stop at two. And in the end, I was drinking more than before. My goal is abstinence, but I'm afraid I'll be at a party or out with friends and the temptation to have "just one" will be too strong to resist. Then it will start all over again. I've been avoiding occasions like that, but I can't avoid them forever...