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Drinking alone

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Thanks everyone, I will take all of your advice & suggestions to heart and will apply them to myself. I am greatful to all of you and appreciate your support!! I had a really great day and the alcohol barely crossed my mind, but I was very busy. I hope all of you had a great one too!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 73

foxman, thanks for sharing that number. It gives me hope. reddragon, another thought. Do you like to read? I posted my top three inspirational reads elsewhere on this forum. I highly recommend them for purposes of distraction and affirmation.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi reddragon,

Yes, hang in there! You can do it. You have a number of people backing you up, rooting for you.

Re-read this thread, use the advice and tips suggested, wait 15 minutes, call someone to talk to or continue posting with us to vent, release your frustrations etc...

Begin to change your frame of mind by considering the outcomes - will giving in to a drink help your situation? How else could you handle the situation?

Remember, you are the one in control - not the booze!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I meant to say on my blog, there are links to some great speeches and workshops on the big book you may listen to them. I found it very useful during my first few weeks of sobriety that was 5 1/2 years ago.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

There was this doctor named Silkworth worked with many people who had trouble with alcohol back in 1920s. He is the first one to see the co-founder of AA recover. This is what he has to say:

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.

On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.

=======================================================================================================

Today there are scores of people who work the 12 steps of AA and attain the psychic change and live peacefully. On my forum there are workshops that walk you though the book. You may want to listen to those audio links.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Thanks everyone for your input. I will look into those websites Splitimage & will try what all of you suggest. Foxman, that's it I feel absolutely powerless, the booze controls me, I don't control it is how I think about it. So, what does AA say to do about that? Right now, it's that time of day, and I'm thinking about going to the store for a bottle, but I want to wake up feeling well tomorrow. Trying to hang in there

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 272

Reddragon,

Glad you're not beating yourself up over the wine. Being alone especially if I'm bored is a really big trigger for me too. So I've taken up hobbies, most notably knitting, to help me since I live alone. I also find on-line support boards to be very helpful, since you can get on-line and post or just read other people's posts which sometimes help. Also some boards have live recovery chats, that you can participate in if you so choose.

I don't know if you're male or female, but if you're female Women for Sobriety have a fantastic on-line site that's also very active and supportive. If you google Women for Sobriety you'll find the organization's main site that has a link to the board. You have to be approved to join.

Good luck.

splitimage

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Hello Reddragon,

In the book called Alcoholics Anonymous, there are several stories to depict the queer mental twist problem drinkers develop that they easily cave into taking that 1st drink. One of the examples i like is one where a car salesman who was making a sales visit stops by a restaurant to have a sandwich. As he was closing on his lunch a thought goes through his mind that an ounce of whiskey mixed with milk on a full stomach wont have that much impact. So he orders a drink and mixes whiskey in it. But then the phenomenon of craving kicks in and he goes on to order another glass of milk with whiskey. and then eventually ends up in an asylum.

That is powerlessness.Not many people understand this. But people who have gone through the wringer will understand this mental obsession that forces us to take a drink.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 73

reddragon, you're right. There is no reason to beat yourself up about this. You racked up a lot of sober days and you'll do it again. There were many nights when I was home alone with my children and a bottle of wine. And also many evenings when I've been out in my car engaged in a debate: should I stop and buy a bottle of wine, no, yes, no yes, yes, I think I will. And then I detoured and did. I sympathize. Try waiting. Give yourself fifteen minutes. Sometimes the urge will pass. Or call someone who knows what you're up against. Or invite a friend or family member who doesn't drink to come over and play a quiet game of scrabble or something else until bedtime. My boyfriend doesn't drink, and when he's around, I don't drink either. I keep him around a lot ;)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Hi everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I'm seeking a bit of advice from someone/anyone whose main trigger is sitting alone drinking. I had a great week and Saturday night I caved in and at about 11:00 at night I bought a bottle of wine. Although I've decided there is no need to beat myself up over it, my frustration comes from the fact that I gave in so easily to the urge. Sitting at home by myself, especially after my kids are asleep, is very depressing to me. I have no other adult to talk to in my home and it's a lonely feeling. I know the key is to keep busy and I have plenty of things on my agenda that I can do to do just that, but, as I said, my frustration comes from the fact that as soon as I have this urge, I don't resist and once it's there it's so hard to get it off of my mind. Any advice out there?

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