Hi. I am 20 years old and have had various substance abuse problems since i was 14. I have gone in and out of various substances and abuse patterns, but i have gotten a solid handle on my self control when i am alone, and have not drank alone in over 4 years. I do however have an issue when i drink with friends. Over the past year, i have found myself drinking much more than them, becoming out of control and being involved in unacceptable behaviour. When my family is dragged into the mess that i become when i have 9+ drinks, i become verbally and physically abusive towards them. I need this to stop, they do not deserve it and i do not know where my anger is stemming from; i am typically a very friendly, outgoing girl and have not displayed physical anger towards anyone sober since i was a child. I have not drank for 2 months now and intend to stay away from all substances until i figure out what is wrong with me, but i dont know where to start. I am not at all interested in Alcoholic Anonomous. I know that it has worked for many people, and are open to new members and denominations, but their clearly christian approach makes me uncomfortable. Are there other options for me? Can i ever have a 'normal' relationship with alcohol or do i have to remain abstinent for the rest of my life? This website and its questionaires arent exactly providing me with the kinds of answers i was hoping for. If there is anyone out there who could point me in the right direction or offer me some sort of guidence, even someone who has had a similar experience, it would be greatly appreciated.
