Hi Karl, Glad you found us! First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. It's the alcohol. You're not crazy or psychotic. If you stick with the site, I am sure you will see there are so many of us out here just like you. The ladies on the support team are full of great advice and are here to help you in your journey. If you don't want to attend AA, maybe you could talk to your doctor and do some research online to find other sources, books or websites, that can help you understand what alcohol does to us. And please, please remember, it's not you, it's the alcohol. You're a beautiful young lady with so much life ahead of you. Take care of yourself, we are here if you need us.