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Sante... good for you. Sounds like you are making some good decisions for your recovery. There is nothing more powerful than finding a sense of community whether in real life (AA women) or online (AHC). To have purposefully chosen both is a testament to your desire. Hang in there... keep posting.
What I've decided for me is that I cannot drink safely alone. I have absolutely no control when I do, and most of my drinking is done at home alone. When I'm around other people, the shame-and-embarrassment factor kicks in and I generally am responsible. But it is too much work and, frankly, not worth it. I've also begun attending AA meetings. Just a couple a week and with women. I need personal support as well as the guidance of people on this site. All of this, just for me and what seems to be right for me at this point.
There are definitely differences in each of us: why we drink, how we drink, how we feel after drinking, how we view our drinking, what we believe about ourselves, etc. And of course, there is no right or wrong. The key is to find what works for YOU.
Foxman, it's great that you have found your solution. I'm sure that sharing your knowledge is helping many people who are struggling!
Marylizy, I think that you are mostly disappointed in your lack of control. Does that sound right? It's great that you are trying to figure out if you sabotaged yourself. I'm glad that you are putting this slip in perspective and treating it like the learning opportunity that it is! Have you thought of any strategies that you can take forward to help the next time?
What i learned is the 'Craving' kicks in harder as we age. In my own life, I didn't notice this phenomenon until I quit completely. Looking back, the phenomenon of craving was consistent toward the end of my drinking carrier. I was not a guy who would store booze in my house. Always planned on how many beers I would drink for the day or week-end. And invariably, i would fall short of the planned amount and would rush back to get some more. And always regret for going over and decide to do better next time..But would fail again...
Yes I can understand the phenomena of craving and of not craving also. I think of it as good and bad days, right or wrong of me it is how I see it. Happy Thanksgiving.
i am not suggesting you go to AA. i was just trying to see if you can see the 'phenomenon of craving' in your drinking. And that if you are an alcoholic, you will never be able to control and enjoy drinking.
Thanks for your input. I guess if I wanted AA I would go there but I have chosen this site for it's undemanding and totally supportive ideas and discussions.
There is something within the body of an alcoholic that forces the person to continue drinking once he puts a drink or two. I learned this after 4 months getting into the rooms of AA. The Doctors Opinion talks about this phenomenon of craving:
The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe-that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us. But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there in AHC. Last night I had a slip backwards from my goal. I am not going to bear myself up like I usually would do. I am calm and introspective but disappointed in myself for drinking way more than I had planned. Or maybe I did plan it deep down inside somewhere so I could give up? If that was the case, I am not giving up but going on and understanding that slips are part of being human. So, that said, I am off to a great day, back on track and so happy to have this web site to come to and express my feelings. Thank you everyone.
I think you two are making a good point. Abstinence is not the answer for everyone. It is up to the individual to decide what is the right choice for them. We will support you in which ever goal you think is right.
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