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The hole


10 years ago 0 1140 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi Ausra, 
 
Congratulations on making it this far. Yes, you will probably still have many thoughts about smoking at this stage. But if you are off all nicotine, I'm willing to bet those urges are weaker than they were a week ago. 
 
It might be helpful for you to time, rate, and record your cravings just to see how long, harsh, and often they truly are. You will see a pattern of decreased cravings over time if you do this. You will also gain some perspective on the ones you are having. Over time, you will begin to notice that what feels like a really intense craving is actually much weaker than ones from a few days, weeks or months in the past. 
 
In the meantime, one thing to keep in mind is that it is entirely OK to feel kind of crappy right now. What your boyfriend is experiencing and expressing has nothing to do with you. your body is different. Your addiction is different. So your quit is going to be different. Go ahead and hate him for having it so easy.(I would!  ) But don't feel like there is something wrong with you just because its not so easy for you.
 
Also, try this when a crave comes up: Instead of trying to fight that feeling, give yourself permission to feel the crave and feel lousy about it. That doesn't mean you need to give in to the urge. Just give in to the feeling. Accept it and embrace it as both an opportunity to extinguish a trigger and a reminder of why you hate the addiction. ...Odds are, by the time you get done embracing the crave, it's going to be gone. 
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10 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Ausra!!!
 
        Congratulations on making it through HELL WEEK!!!  You have made it through the physical addiction and are now in your mental war with your nico-demon!  Stand tough and know that you can do this!!!  Keep your crave basket close and remember to reward yourself daily!  Heck, reward yourself after every crave if that is what it takes!  Keep the ice water close and continue to wash those toxic chemicals out of your body.  A cold refreshing drink do seem to help with craving for some odd reason!
 
        I see that you have completed all of the sessions in the Program, excellent!  Check out the Tools, also.  Keeping a journal and charting your cravings have helped many.  Most of all, read and learn from the threads here on the Forums.  If there is something specific you want to know about, you can use the search button or just ask.  Know that it is NOT hopeless and that you CAN do this!  I smoked for over 37 years and if I can kick that nico-demon's ash, you can too!   
 
      As for your boyfriend, I am sure that he is going through many of the episodes of craving that you are, but is trying to look and be strong for you!  In turn, be strong for him!  Encourage him often and it will really begin to rub off on you, too!  Keep reminding each other that you CAN do this and it WILL happen!  You are going through a war right now with many battles!  I know it can take a LOT out of you!! Keep winning every battle and reward yourselves well and often.  Get as much rest as you can, too!  That really helps!!!   Hang in there!!! 
 
                 Jim
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10 years ago 0 3 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi,
 
My 8th smoking off day... I don't know what to do. It seems so hopeless... My cravings are very strong and it continues all day long... I think I feel it every single minute. I still don't understand who I am - smoker or non-smoker. I'm sure I won't go and buy cigs right now but it's still so painful. Exercises and positive thinking don't help me... I know I must wait, give a chance to myself but... My boyfriend quit too. We did it together. And you know he feels cravings etc. but he doesn't make a tragedy at all. He lives his live, works and tries to help me. He sais: 'If someone asked me about quitting smoking, I'd say it's quite easy.' It's not so easy for him but doesn't want to give up. I'm completely different. OK, I know theory that I'll change my mind, I'll feel much better but NOW... But I feel so guilty when my boyfriend looses self-control because of my crying every day. There is a really big hole.... what to what to do
10 years ago 0 618 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Josie & Kristine
 
Unfortunately there is no 'fast forward button' for quitting, or we all would have used it!  You are giving Kudos to us for sharing and listening, but some one did that for us some time ago, and now that we can reap the rewards of quitting, we give back.
 
The Kudos right now goes to you and your massive efforts to quit.  Do glean as much advice as you can from the site.  Some small thing may be the 'light bulb moment' and help you at that particular moment.
 
Whatever it takes, just don't smoke! 
 
Love Lolly.    
10 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Josie!!!
 
      Again, I tell you that this IS normal!!!  The first week or two and be downright miserable... if you let it!    Know in your heart that you can do this and do whatever it takes to make it through the end of the crave!  Many people relied on ice water, hard candy, carrots and celery!  Keep that crave basket close and stick close!  I practically lived on the Forums the first few months of my quit!  I read and posted and read some more!  This place was a great distraction and I learned more and more every day new ways to kick that demon's ash!!!    Remember,  PMA... Positive Mental Attitude!  You CAN do this!  
 
                    Jim
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10 years ago 0 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I just stumbled across this thread.  I am finding myself obsessively reading forums when the sometimes "unbearable" mental cravings sneak up.  It is incredibly motivating (and relieving) to see that others have been in same "the deep, dark, empty hole" as I find myself the past couple of days.  I feel nearly non-present.  I am only present, and keenly aware of that existence, when the psychological cravings sneak up.  I wish for a fast-forward button.  I cannot wait to reap the rewards you all have found.  Kudos to your strength, and thank you for sharing and listening.  
10 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have a friend who is in AA, and I was telling her about this recently. She said in AA it's a very well-known phenomenon that people feel really exhilarated and overjoyed in the first days of quitting drinking, only to sink into a bit of a depression for the next few weeks. There's this initial rush of happiness about the accomplishment of doing something you never thought you'd be able to do, but then your natural inclination is to reward yourself . . . with the thing you quit. And that's when the depression starts up, because your brain gets locked into working through the paradox of wanting to celebrate quitting by failing at quitting.
 
I had been trying to get through this without a lot of special "rewards" but hearing that from my friend was when I realized that they really are important in the beginning. As I near the one-month mark I have been feeling a LOT better, but I do notice that my most painful cravings are when something good happens and I want to celebrate with a nice smoke. Perverse stuff, too. Like last night at volunteering I worked with a problem kid for two hours and by the end she had made some good progress and so I wanted to smoke to reward myself for keeping my patience. Which makes no sense at all, since if I were still smoking I guarantee that two hours of patience would have been much more difficult to sustain.
 
Anyway. Just wanted to update this thread in case anyone reading is still in the hole. It is normal and it gets better!
 
 
 
10 years ago 0 823 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This is a great post - thanks for sharing it Kristine - see how many can relate? I think it's easy to keep moving forward until one day we feel like we've plateaued and there we sit - until we start to feel like we're not even maintaining the plateau anymore and then we sink . . . .  These little dips can really derail our resolve!  You worked it out very well by verbalizing in black and white what you feeling . . . I'm so glad you found your way out of the hole and are feeling better now. You are doing great!
10 years ago 0 60 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hey kristine, glad to see that you have ascended from the "hole."  but i am very appreciative of your honest post because i've had a few days like that.  they are particularly alarming because you don't expect to feel worse as time goes by as a non smoker.  that's what is great about this forum - when you share your difficult moments you are helping someone else know that they are not alone.  
 
hope your still feeling cheery today!!   
10 years ago 0 618 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
What great reading your post made this morning!  You have such a positive attitude now!
 
There may be more days when you feel less sure than today, but you can and will get over them.  At the front of your mind needs to be the thought that whatever it takes you will not smoke.  Just do whatever Kristine, and you will win!
 
Love Lolly.    

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