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Why relapse?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

I relapsed after a three year quit, partly because I was stressed out by a new job and decided to smoke rather than eat since I was lacking coping skills. (Poor choice. I've been able to lose weight every time I've tried. Rarely have I been able to quit smoking.) "Lack of coping skills" are the operative words. I spoke with an addiction counselor last year who said that people who quit an addiction on willpower alone will usually relapse a some point. I concur. I learned no coping skills when I quit smoking the first time. Being human and all, willpower will give way at some point. This time I believe I have more coping skills and have made more attitudinal and lifestyle changes to cope with whatever life throws me. Further, I do not feel as though I am willing my way through this quit.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 503
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 14,084
Amount Saved: $5,985.70
Life Gained:
Days: 56 Hrs: 15 Mins: 34 Seconds: 58

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 206

Fantastic thread; SO glad I stumbled upon it! Me, I'm a little different. Pushing 60, but have the maturity level of a 13-year-old, so my first relapse came on a very stressful work-related road trip. Nine hours in a car alone on my way to a 7-week assignment in another state, and it was like, "I can pull into this convenience store, buy cigarettes, and no one will ever know!" (I know, how mortifying. How's THAT for grown-up behavior??) And so I did! The urge to be bad was stronger than the urge to act my friggin age!

Second major relapse also came at a stressful time (had to bury a friend's mother), and I just gave up the fight and told myself (lied to myself) that I would do a better job if I weren't so gosh-darn pre-occupied with trying to stay smoke free.

I started smoking when I was 13 and it just sort of became a huge part of my bad-boy identity. Even up to a week ago, my favorite thing in the world was to finish a major grown-up task and then sneak off to smoke. My biggest temptations continue to be those times when no one around me will ever know that I slipped. I think knowing that has finally put me on the right road; I mean, really. Who wants to hang out with a 60-year-old who acts like a 13-year-old??

peteg

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 9/13/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 2
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 100
Amount Saved: $28.25
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 10 Mins: 35 Seconds: 21

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 855

Ive heard that too and i was really scared of that happening to me, but after 8 years iam still free and have no desire to start back, when i quit i said when turn 70 years old iam gonna smoke again, well iam just 9 years from that and really think i will wait now till i am 90 :) hang tough dont smoke, dont be scared and dont pay attention to everyone else and what they say , its your quit, you are the one that has control of it :) Tresa
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 8/8/2002
Smoke-Free Days: 2922
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 70,128
Amount Saved: $12,272.40
Life Gained:
Days: 383 Hrs: 16 Mins: 58 Seconds: 28

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1985

And you have stuck to it Jeniwho and have so very well. There will be times when you think about lighting up however they become less frequent as each individual trigger is tamed and there undoubtedly will be dozens; divide each, separate and conquer.

You are going to have an odd trigger that shows its face from time to time. Two years after I quit, I started to paint the inside of the house and the vapors from the paint told be time to smoke, since I use to take a smoking break while painting. I am fine today and I don’t have temptations anymore. And so you see you can turn out just like me! There are many, many people like me. As a matter of fact all my quitter friends are just like me.

If you crave a smoke, don't react but tell yourself that you will sleep on it and will make that decision in the morning. Better decisions are made when not under duress.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/22/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1658
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 41,450
Amount Saved: $18,134.38
Life Gained:
Days: 324 Hrs: 12 Mins: 50 Seconds: 29

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

25 years!!!! I think its because after so long a person forgets how difficult it is to go through those first few days of quitting. I never want to be that person, whatever the reason or cause, I want to commit to remaining smoke free forever. I know it does happen and temptations are out there but for me I know staying connected here helps. It reminds me that everyday is a new opportunity for me to make the choice to be a smoker or non smoker, even twenty years from now. That is something I have really learned this time I quit, for me "smoking" will never just "go away" and I will need to stay strong for as long as I want to not smoke. Thanks for all your great input.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 11/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 257
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 5,140
Amount Saved: $1,799.00
Life Gained:
Days: 22 Hrs: 10 Mins: 13 Seconds: 23

Quit Meter

$385,985.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 5353 Hours: 13

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 52

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45410

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

908,200

Cigarettes Not Smoked

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1843

Smoking is an addiction. Even after years of being clean, the addict can still pop his ugly head out. As long as your desire to remain quit is stronger than your desire to smoke you can beat the nicodemon! And all it takes is one puff, just like steelroots said. Who knows why somebody would smoke again after 25 years? Yeah, it does sound crazy. But it happens. Never let your guard down!
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 716
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,640
Amount Saved: $7,160.00
Life Gained:
Days: 110 Hrs: 7 Mins: 3 Seconds: 24

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 109

Oh Dear - don't go there - it's not worth it (been there-done that too many times)

It doesn't matter what the reasons are (I think we all can and will come up with a reason to justify smoking).

I had a friend tell me 2 days ago that her dad starting back smoking after being quit for 25 years (because his wife smokes and he just decided to start back) How crazy is that?

I am and probably everyone else is a Puff Away from A Pack A Day.

Please Don't Smoke - and have to start over again (like I did recently) it is NOT worth it. You'll Regret.

Think about your daughter and how upset you were, please don't consider and maybe stay away from any negative influences for a while.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 7/21/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 16
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 240
Amount Saved: $60.00
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 8 Mins: 20 Seconds: 23

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1985

Those are the reasons that I have heard and also the reason that Lolly mentioned: just want to see what it tastes like.

A few tips to consider:

Smokers are a dying breed and that’s one reason why people quit.

The grass is not greener on the other side of the hill.

Don’t been tricked or fooled; look no further you have it all.

People forget what they had had until realizing what they have lost.

And then this:

I don’t care about cigarettes anymore. They have taken too much of my life, my time and now I’m having my way!

Be good to yourself Jeniwho,

Stickin to it

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/22/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1657
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 41,425
Amount Saved: $18,123.44
Life Gained:
Days: 324 Hrs: 7 Mins: 7 Seconds: 21

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Jeniwho,

This is a great discussion topic! I am not 100% sure what the most common reason for relapse is. What you have written down sounds very likely. There could be a lot of other reasons as well but let's discuss the ones you have mentioned.

For the last two, drinking and being around other smokers, we always tell quitters that until they are very confident in their quit they should avoid situations where they may feel tempted. Drinking and being around other smokers are high risk situations that new quitters should try to avoid until they are farther along in their quits. Check out the emergency coping plan for more ideas on how to stay smoke free in these types of situations.

In regard to negative feelings and stress, Milestone 4 has lots of coping strategies that will help. This milestone will help you set up a coping plan and Coping Plan D focuses entirely on coping with stress.

Members, please share! Thanks Jeniwho for starting this interesting discussion.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 618

Hi Jeniwho,

I've often wondered the same thing myself. After putting yourself throught the effort of quitting and all the heartache, why turn to cigarettes again? Even in moments of stress you would think that people would not need nicotine to get through, as they would have other coping mechanisms. It just shows the power of an addictive substance.

One of the reasons I have heard is that they 'Just wonder what it tastes like again and just have one to see.' I know that I can smell a newly lit ciggie and think nostalgically about it, which after all this time amazes me. Even since I knew I had cancer the odd thought comes and goes. I think if you keep a sense of humour and reality about a long quit, you can laugh about it.

I never gave up drinking (moderately of course,) during my quit. Eventually you can enjoy your favourite tipple again, without thinking of a cigarette. Over time, I began to avoid being near smokers, though I never lectured them. Now I have to avoid them as my breathing becomes affected.

As for positive feelings, I think the mind can play tricks on us and persuade us to think in a negative way. I've always remained positive about most things. I am always amazed at how many people I meet or hear of, who are in a position so much worse than mine. That keeps it all in focus.

I'm sure you do not need to worry at all. Just remain proud of what you have achieved, and remember that having a cigarette will not improve anything in your life. I'm glad you are being so aware of the future pitfalls, so that the Nicodemon will not catch you unaware!!!

Love Lolly.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 11/25/2004
Smoke-Free Days: 2079
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 72,765
Amount Saved: �18,191.25
Life Gained:
Days: 275 Hrs: 21 Mins: 46 Seconds: 11

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